A Man Cave?? WTH?!?!?!

I have to admit that I do not always go with trends, much less understand them. 

Right now, I am having an issue with the current trend, the "Man Cave." Every 

time I hear the phrase I get greatly annoyed and my blood pressure goes up.

You see things about the "man cave" and hear about it a lot right now. Even
DIY Network has a show called "Man Caves." If you ever watch "House Hunters"
on HGTV, you will often hearing the man saying he needs his own space, his
own "man cave." And, each and every time I hear that, I think to myself, "What
the heck?"

Isn't the home and all the rooms in it for pretty much everyone? Since when do
men need their own special place in the home? I do not understand this concept
in the least. They are basically saying they need one whole room to themselves
so they can play, but it is only for men. It reminds me of being a child and the
boys building a fort and saying, "No Girls Allowed." Apparently, when some
men grow up, they don't get past this stage of development.

It seems quite selfish to me in so many ways. I share my home with my
husband. When we buy new furniture and decorate the home, we do so
together. If I had my way, I'm sure our home would look much more feminine
than it does now. Additionally, if my husband needs time to himself or wants
to watch a particular program, I make sure that happens for him, just as he
makes sure it happens for me.

Why is a cave necessary? Will this trend hopefully die? If not, then I have a
solution. I think us wives need to demand our own space if our husband comes
home and asks for a man cave. Fair is fair. Although, I'm not sure I like the
sound of that. I prefer a Female Haven. I've already got ideas on how I'll
design mine, if my husband ever demands his own Man Cave.

Female Haven by jayhawkmommy on Polyvore

The Single Friend

My Sistatwin and I nearly 5 years ago.
She is now the Godmother to my oldest child.

Almost daily, I pinch myself in wonderment over the fact that I am happily married with two beautiful daughters. If you had asked me just 5 years ago to imagine myself in this place now, I would have laughed and said it was not likely to happen and that I had no clue where I would be in five years. Five years ago, I was single, 36 years old, and had only been on one date in 9 years.  Pretty pitiful, right? I desperately wanted to be a mom, but had finally come to the conclusion that it would not likely happen for me, and had come to terms with that thought.

I was the single friend, the single family member. I was the one who was alone. No partner in life, and, honestly, only a couple of friends. It wasn't that I hadn't tried to make friends, but for some reason I had difficulty making connections with people. Part of the issue I had was the fact that I was single and in my mid-thirties heading into my late thirties. Most everyone else I knew at my age was, at the very least, married and had children. They were not interested in being friends with a singleton, to steal a phrase from Bridget Jones.

Being single in your thirties and older is not easy, especially if you want to be married someday and have children.  One of the hardest aspects to being single at that stage in your life is that many of your old friends have "moved on" from you.  They get involved in their lives with their spouse and kids, and seem to seek out friends with similar situations. Suddenly, you find yourself unceremoniously "dumped" because you don't have a partner or kids.

Then, there is the situation with your family too. A group of women I know,the Pinkies, recently discussed this very issue. Many of them are single, and quite a few in their late-thirties and forties. In their families, the married family members seem to make all the choices and decisions regarding family events and holidays. Apparently, the single family member is not seen as meriting any input because they don't have children. Their input is not expected, nor wanted. I know I felt that way at times. Sometimes, I felt the loneliest when I was with my family. I know it wasn't their intent that I feel that way, but I did. My moments of loneliness came when a new baby came into the family. I remember my parents being thrilled with the arrival of a new grandchild and holding the baby.  I enjoyed watching them hold their new grandbaby.  However, I noticed that once one of them held the baby, my mom or dad would make sure to take a picture of the person holding the child. When I would get the opportunity to hold the baby, no one took my picture with it. Had I asked, I'm sure it would have happened, but with my parents, it was automatic. No asking needed. The loneliness happened when I realized I didn't have someone to do that for me, that I HAD to ask to make it happen.

Here I am, now though, five years later. I have that person that will take a picture, even if I don't want it taken, without me needing to ask. I don't feel lonely anymore.

I do have the single friend though. I have a few of them.  It is important to me to make sure they know that they count in my life, and that my marital status and familial status has not changed their importance. Granted, I am not always the best friend out there because I hate talking on the phone, but how I treat my single friends has not changed.

Another fabulous single friend of mine holding my daughter.

If you are married, in a relationship, and/or have children, please do not forget your single friends or family members. Try to be that person for them at an event who remembers to make them a part of their time with you so they don't feel alone, even when surrounded by others. Be that person to them who takes a picture or spend special time with them.

My single friends mean the world to me. They may not always be single, then again they may never marry, but they will, hopefully, always be my friend.

No Longer in a Crib

It has been just over two months since we had our second child, our daughter Grace.  As I discussed once before, we want our daughters to share a room. Ideally, I think they should share a room until Ginny is 12 or 13. That is quite a few years down the road. Until then, we need to get them ready to share the same space.

Currently, Grace is sleeping in our room, right next to my side of the bed.  I like this set up because I am breastfeeding her. It makes it easy to grab her and feed her in the middle of the night. No midnight runs across the house.  My plan is to continue to do this until she is around 6 months old, when I hope she will be close to sleeping through the night. We'll see.

Ginny is still in the nursery. Instead of buying a second crib, we thought it would make more sense (and save some money) to get a toddler bed instead. Our logic has been that most toddlers transition to a toddler bed (or twin) when they are two years old. Fitting for Ginny because that will be her age when Grace joins her in her room.

The toddler bed arrived at our home about a week after Grace was born.  My husband and my dad (well, he "supervised") put the bed together and in the nursery. Ginny was curious about this new bed. Right away she wanted to climb on it and "read" her books.  This development brought me great hope that transitioning to the bed would go well.

My plan was simply to ease her into the idea, first at nap time then, when she was ready, bed time.  A week later, I made my first attempt to have Ginny sleep in the bed. It did not go well. Ginny climbed in the bed, but didn't want to lay down. I got her to lay down, but then she started to sob. I tried to talk to her about it, but it was a no go. She refused.  So, in she went to her crib.  We tried a few more times over the next couple of weeks, but she wasn't interested.  Finally, one day, she let us leave her there.  I was excited. The excitement was short-lived. Within 15 minutes I heard her banging the drawers on her dresser and bureau. I put her back in the crib after I discovered she had emptied out all of her PJs.

It took another couple of weeks before we tried the toddler bed again. I needed to wait for Chris to child-proof her dresser and bureau. His work schedule can be insane at times, and it took a while before he had a chance to get in there. Until he did, every time we went in the nursery, Ginny was thrilled to grab some books and climb on her new bed.

Ginny got her next chance to take a nap on her toddler bed about a week before Christmas.  I figured it would take a while, and that I would likely need to put her back in the crib.  I was wrong! In under five minutes, there was silence in her room. Absolute silence. I checked in there 10 minutes later.  She was asleep.

Ginny sleeps for the first time in her bed.

The next couple of days she fell asleep in her bed with no issue. Then, after discussing it with my DH, it was decided that Ginny should try and sleep in her bed at night. She was eager to get in her bed. There were no complaints from her. She has been sleeping in her bed ever since. 

Ginny's typical position, stuffed animals and books in bed and her butt up in the air. :)

I didn't expect the transition to move so quickly, but it did. I am grateful it went so easily. I only hope that potty training goes just as easy. My hopes are not that high.