Yummy! A Banana in My Tummy!

Ginny has now been eating solids for 2 weeks. The first food we introduced to her was rice cereal.  She was okay with it.  Just trying to figure it out.  Next came carrots and Ginny loved them (as seen in a previous blog entry).  Since then, we have introduced apples (loves), potatoes (does NOT like), peas, and then today....banana.

Ginny absolutely LOVES bananas!  She couldn't get enough.  At times, she got impatient with me.  I was not getting it to her fast enough.  She wanted more and more.  Then, I did something wild and mixed it with her cereal.  Mixing it did not stop the love!  I imagine that right now, as she naps, she is dreaming of banana.

Hopefully, she loves more foods that we introduce. Next up, she will be trying sweet potatoes (we hope she likes this better than a regular baking potato), avocado, butternut squash, and pears.

Until then, I have an adorable baby that I imagine that right now, as she naps, is dreaming of banana.

Sleep?

I know I did a post about sleep deprivation, but it needs to be repeated.

I am soooo tired!! Just when I think Ginny is becoming a better sleeper, she changes her mind. I've got her on a nap schedule, morning and afternoon.  She does okay with it.  It really depends on the day.  Sometimes she will sleep 40-60 minutes in the morning and then 1-2 hours in the afternoon.  Some days, though, she will only sleep 20 minutes in the morning and 45 minutes in the afternoon.

At night, she is in her crib by 7 p.m. and usually falls right to sleep.  For a few weeks she would sleep until about 2 a.m. for a feeding and then sleep until 7 a.m.  That did not last.  Now her sleeping is more sporadic.  The other night, I think she decided to be nostalgic for her first few weeks of life because she woke every 2-3 hours for a feeding.  She should be sleeping more, but we are struggling through two things right now--teething and another growth spurt.

I miss sleep. I need sleep. I want sleep.

More than that, I want Ginny to get some sleep.  A sleepy baby can be a crabby and impatient baby.  Ginny is a very happy baby most days, but without the necessary sleep she gets cranky a bit quicker than normal. Hopefully, her first 2 teeth come in soon so maybe she starts sleeping better again. Hopefully.

OMG!! Can It Be True? Am I Really 40?

My new tiara and lei that my sister got me for my 40th.

Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday to Me!
Happy Birthday.......

Hold up! Put the brakes on now.  I am not ready to be 40. Not yet. Not really.  I know I can't prevent it from happening, but do I have to be?  This puts me 10 years closer to 50 than I want to be.  Heck, 40 sounds old.  Until today, I could say that I was in my 30s.  I liked that.  I enjoyed being in my 30s.  A lot of wonderful things happened in my 30s--became an aunt for the first time, met the man of my dreams, married him, had a beautiful baby girl. Why do I have to leave this wonderful time?

Oh yeah, that's why. Time!  It keeps moving forward.  We can't hit pause. Isn't that sad?

I truthfully thought about refusing to be 40 and only celebrate the anniversaries of my 39th birthday.  It sounded like a great idea--in my head.  In reality, it seems silly.

To be honest, turning 40 isn't so bad.  I didn't discover any new gray hairs today.  Just the same ones that are there (cleverly covered up by hair dye).  10 years ago, on my 30th birthday, was when I found my first gray.  I was devastated.  Heck, turning 30 was traumatic for me, and I didn't expect it. The day I turned 30, it suddenly hit me as something awful and hard.  I was quite depressed that day and for a week after.  I wanted to crawl in a hole.  My life hadn't turned out like I expected it would. When I graduated from high school, I had imagined that by 30 I would be married and have at least one child by then.  Boy, was I wrong.

My day has been pretty good.  Ginny and I spent the morning together.  She even got in a decent nap this morning (this afternoon has not been successful in that department but I'm trying to not think of it).  After Chris got up we had lunch and then I opened my birthday gifts.  Chris and Ginny spoiled me with St. Louis Cardinals clothing (yay!) and I received a movie from my in-laws.  The best though was the special package my younger sister sent me.  When I was 30, she sent me a package with 30 gifts to open.  Today, she did the same but with 40. Well....technically, 41, for one to grow on. It was fabulous and fun! Most of the stuff was cute and funny.

I look a bit drugged here, but....this is the box of 40 gifts from my sister Amy.

Even Ginny got a couple of gifts from her Aunt Amy!

Later today, Chris, Ginny, and I will go out for dinner at our local Mexican restaurant, Cancun.  We love it, and I'm looking forward to some yummy food and a margarita. Mmmm!  So far, being 40 isn't so bad.  It is even sunny outside.  Granted, I'm only a few hours into it though.  We'll see how things are tomorrow.

Memories of a High School Nothing

I belong to a fabulous group of women who call ourselves "Pinkies" on facebook.  These ladies come from all walks of life, but the one thing we have in common is our faith--Catholicism.

A discussion began today on bullying and how it has affected us all.  It brought back flashbacks of my life.  I was bullied, like most kids, when I was little. As a small child, I would be playing calmly and happily in the sandbox and other kids would pour sand over my head.  My response?  Nothing but tears. My parents tried to help me and teach me to fight back.  That did not work because I was born a pacifist.  They even bought me a blow-up Bullwinkle punching bag, but I never hit it.  Instead, I hugged it.

To avoid the bullying I learned to ignore some crap, keep my head down, and I push my shy self to be more outgoing.  It was not easy.  Until I was 10, my dad was active duty in the Air Force and I had moved several times.  When I would start a new school, I clammed up.  I didn't say much at all.  I got more and more shy with each move.  Our last move was when I was 12 into the community of St. Charles, Missouri.  Luckily, I never really did have to deal with bullies once I was there.

Now, that is not to say that my time in St. Charles was wonderful and that I loved high school.  When I look back at high school, I feel a lot more pain than I do joy.  My first couple of years of school weren't so bad, but they went downhill by my junior year.

At the end of 7th grade, I started hanging out a bit with a group of girls I really liked.  They all seemed very nice and sweet.  Then, in 8th grade, a new girl arrived at our school.  Being the military brat that I was, I quickly introduced myself.  We became friends and were close friends for a number of years.  Things changed though by my junior year of high school.  That close friend and I had a huge blow out fight over something so trivial and stupid in some ways.  My perception at the time was that she didn't respect me and thought she was better than me.  I do not know what she thought.  We never really hung out after that, although we still shared the same friends/high school clique.

Soon after that fight, I felt very alone in high school.  I started to realize that I was alone. Most of my "friends" rarely made an effort to hang out with me.  It was always me making the effort to hang out with them.  For my 16th birthday, I threw a party.  I invited all my friends and some acquaintances.  Most said they would come, but in the end, only a handful showed up.  I was devastated and embarrassed.  I thought I had friends who would celebrate.  I got some excuses, most lame.  It did not stop the hurt though, although I publicly shrugged it off.

During high school I became the master of masking emotions.  I hid the sadness and anger I felt behind smiles.  Later on in my life I would realize how unhealthy that was when I was in therapy trying to learn how to identify my emotions.  I had become so good at the masking that I hid my own emotions from myself.

High school was a miserable time for me.  It began to dawn on me more and more that I was the only one making the effort with my friends.  Right before my senior year of high school, my family moved out of the district (we got special permission for my sis and I to continue going to school there).  My friends claimed the couldn't visit because I lived too far away.  Yet, they were quick to go see movies at the theater that was only 5 minutes down the road from me.

Despite these feelings, I kept in touch with a few friends from high school once I went off to college.  But it didn't last.  My sister was a senior in high school during my junior year of college.  She would be performing with her pom squad at senior night of a basketball game.  I mentioned something to a friend who said that the alumni band members would be performing with the pep band.  I said I wasn't interested in that, but would join up with them afterward.  After the game, I went up to my friends and said hello.  I tried to engage them in conversation.  Not one person said a thing to me.  I was ignored.  At that moment, I had finally had enough.  I walked away and stopped trying.  And you know what?  Not one person from that group ever attempted to contact me.

I'm friends with most of my high school graduating class on FB, including the group I hung out with.  I've looked at some of their pictures from high school and college.  In doing so, I realize how much I was left out and not included.  It doesn't bother me so much anymore.  I've grown up.  In my growing, I've discovered true friends who will always have my back....people I don't constantly have to make the effort with.  They make the effort too.  I've also forgiven the people who hurt me in the past.

My hopes rest on Ginny now.  I hope that when she goes to school that she won't have to deal with the bullying or from people not caring for her.  I hope that she enjoys her life completely and that her disappointments are minimal.

An Orange-y Smile

Ginny tried eating carrots for the first time this afternoon.  She really seemed to enjoy them!  Heck, she liked them a lot more than her "boring" rice cereal.  I tried them and liked them too. The homemade baby food tastes so much better than Gerber or Beech-Nut carrots.  Yummy!  Anyhow, Ginny was sporting a bit of an orange-y smile that I feel compelled to share.  Isn't she adorable?

Taking her first few bites

Ginny saying, "I love carrots!"

Happy 1/2 Birthday, Ginny!

Today, Ginny is 6 months old.

It is hard to believe that she is "that" old.  It seems like the time has flown despite the lack of sleep and all that comes with having a baby.  She is growing so fast and part of me wants her to stay little.  I know that is not possible though.

This morning we went to see Ginny's doctor so she could get her 6 month check-up and shots.  Soon after we got there, our nurse Taylor brought us back.  Taylor kept gushing on Ginny and even said she was the cutest baby ever. :)  Of course, this had Chris and I beaming from ear to ear.  We naturally feel that way (and feel as though no other baby could be as cute as our little girl), but love hearing it when others gush too.  It makes us feel as though we aren't just delusionally happy parents, but accurate in our assessments.

Ginny got measured.  She is a healthy 17 pounds 10 ounces and 26.25 inches long.  I looked it up online but this puts her in the 75th percentile (80th percentile for weight, 71st percentile for length).  The doctor came in to look at Ginny and go over developmental milestones to make sure she is on track.  She is! :)  We also discussed putting Ginny on solids and the plan of action for that.  I was pleased to learn that her doctor's attitude was the same as mine--to start Ginny with veggies then introduce fruits.  One of the questions I did ask the doctor was about foods I am allergic to.  I've read that some food allergies can be passed down.  The doctor told me to just hold off until she is a year old before introducing those foods, then we will watch her carefully for a reaction.

Getting her first taste of rice cereal

Daddy feeding a little!

One thing I did tell the doctor was that we started solids on Ginny yesterday with rice cereal.  I made up a tablespoon of it.  Ginny was not sure what to think of it though.  It wasn't that she didn't like it, rather she just wasn't sure what the stuff was going into her mouth.  A very new sensation for our baby girl.  This morning was day 2 on introducing solids.  She almost ate the full tablespoon.  She didn't mind it so much.  On Monday, we will try our first vegetable.  We'll see how that goes.

Sleep Deprivation: Being a New Mom

Before I gave birth to Ginny, I struggled with sleep like many women in the last trimester do.  On top of that, I was fatigued.  It was not the best feeling---wanting sleep and not getting it.  People would tell me that it was God's way of preparing mothers.  My response was that if God was trying to prepare us for motherhood then He should give us as much sleep as possible before the baby is born.

To this day, I think my assessment is correct.  The sleep deprivation of the 3rd trimester is entirely different than that of being a new mom.  When I was in that last couple of months, I knew that I would be going without sleep once the baby arrived.  I was not wrong.  I will say this, though.  The sleep deprivation of a new mom usually comes without the additional fatigue.  At least, now, I feel like I do get rest when I sleep, as opposed to when I was pregnant.

Ginny will be 6 months old in a couple of days.  She is still not sleeping the night through.  We have gone from being up every hour or two to sleeping in 5-6 hour chunks. That means that I have now been sleep deprived for 6 months.  Actually more if you include my last 2 months of pregnancy.  Quite frankly, I'm getting tired of being tired.  It is so bad that now I am grateful for getting 6 hours of sleep in a row.  My ultimate fantasy now is to get 10 hours of sleep....just once.  8 hours of sleep in a row will suffice and make me very happy. Someday....right?

Homemade Baby Food

I have officially become one of "those" moms.  You know the ones...the ones who don't want to do what all the other moms have been doing for decades.  My first "rebellion" was to reject disposable diapers and go with cloth (which I LOVE).  Now, I'm going even further by making Ginny's baby food.

When I first envisioned having a baby, I thought I would be like most and buy Gerber's at the grocery store.  My mom did that as well as my sister.  It was my sister-in-law who brought up making baby food for Ginny.  This surprised me mainly because she hates to cook.  She went on and on about how easy it was and let me borrow a book on homemade baby food.

After much thought, I decided to go for it.  I looked at the book and online.  I even entertained another, more radical option, baby-led weaning (radical for me), but decided to go this route to start.  Now I have the book I borrowed plus 2 more and a bookmark to a website with info.  From the research I have done, I have come to the conclusion that making Ginny's baby food will save us a lot of money (I love saving), plus it is healthier for her.  She will be eating fresh fruits and veggies to start.  Later I will add meats.  I will be get the chance to be creative as well once we start to do combinations.

Two weeks ago, I started making Ginny's food.  I try to buy organic where I can.  I can steam, boil, or roast most of the veggies and fruits.  Then I simply put them in the food processor and, presto, I'm done.  After the food is pureed, then I put them in ice cube trays to freeze. It doesn't take that long to do either.  The only thing slowing me down are ice cube trays.  I only have 2, and I bought those.  I think I need to buy some more so I can be more efficient.

Some of the food I've already made for Ginny: Zucchini, Carrots, Green beans, Apples, and Butternut Squash.

Ginny starts solids in a week.  We will start with rice cereal then start adding the veggies (first) then fruits.  I have already made zucchini, carrots, green beans, apples, and butternut squash.  Today I worked on pears and yellow squash.  Tomorrow I hope to make peas and broccoli.  I will also give her foods I personally hate.  Hopefully, by giving her homemade baby food with a lot of variety, she will be a lot less picky about foods than I am.  ::fingers crossed::

Napping--Day 2

Yesterday didn't go too awful in my attempts to get Ginny to nap in her crib.  Granted, they didn't go great either.  After I laid her down, she was fine....for 5 minutes.  Then she started to fuss and cry.  I went in to sooth her and then left.  She stayed quiet (and asleep) for 10 minutes.  Again, she fussed and cried.  Again I went in and soothed her then left.  The next go, she stayed asleep and quiet for 15 minutes. Repeat for me again. I like that each time she increased 5 minutes.  I then decided to take this new "free" time and clean our master bath.  While doing so, I heard Ginny starting to fuss, but ignored it (there was no crying so this made it easy).  I could hear her starting to entertain herself and was able to finish my task.  In total, she spent one hour in her crib with only about 40 minutes of that napping.  Not too bad for the first day.

That afternoon I decided I wouldn't lay in her crib for afternoon naps until we had established the morning nap routine a bit more.  My plan is to start adding the afternoon crib nap toward the end of the week.

Now it is day 2 of setting up this lovely nap routine.  I added a new component.  I set up my iPod in her room and have it playing classical music quietly in the background.  She has now been down for 8 minutes and while she fussed a bit in the first 2 minutes, there was no crying or need for me to go in there.  I laid her down while she was awake yet sleepy.  Part of me wants to peek in, but the other part is afraid that this will disturb her.  No matter what, though, today is already much improved over yesterday's attempts. That would make any mom happy, I believe.

Napping--Day 1

Okay, I am attempting to get Ginny down in her crib for naps instead of letting her sleep in my arms.  I need to do this. I want to do this, but....I'm not convinced this will go well.  It will probably be torture, but Ginny is finally old enough for some degree of sleep training.

It is day one.  She will be laid down for her 1st nap 2 hours after waking (which is now and when she typically naps) and then around 1-1:30.  Please wish us luck!  I know I'll need it.