Before I ever had my first miscarriage, I knew one was possible. I guess I knew because both my mom and sister had suffered one a piece. I didn't want it to happend, obviously, but having one seemed like a possiblity. Once I had the 1st, I figured I was in the clear and would not have any issues. Boy, was I wrong.
I wish I still had that since of naivete. But, I know longer possess it. Now, when I see a friend announce that they are pregnant, my first thought, if they are still in the 1st trimester, is...I hope they don't lose their baby. I didn't use to think this way. It makes me sad that I do. I used to feel joyful for them upon hearing the news despite where they were in their pregnancy. But having suffered loss 3 times, I fear that they will have that same loss, that same pain that, unless you have been there, no one else can quite comprehend.
Mother's Day was just a week ago. It was a day where I know in my heart that I am a mother. I am a mother of 3 angels in heaven. Yet, no one wished me a happy mother's day. I honestly didn't expect it, but I feel like I was a mom, even for a brief period of time.
Recently, I started thinking about the frequency of miscarriage. I once heard the stat that 30% of pregnancies result in miscarriage. I've even heard that it is likely more like 70% because many women are pregnant and lose their baby early in but think that their period is only 2 days late or so (chemical pregnancies). For now, though, let's deal with the 30% stat. I more recently read it is more like 20%. In my naivete, I interpreted this to mean that 20% of women (1 in 5) will suffer a miscarriage. That is pretty high when you think about it. However, it is higher than that. It isn't 20% of women, it is 20% of all pregnancies. That means it is quite likely that most women who get pregnant will likely suffer a miscarriage at sometime in her life.
Here are some other interesting stats:
Women have a ....
**75% chance of miscarriage at weeks 3 and 4 of pregnancy (when they are technically only 1-2 weeks pregnant).
**10% chance at weeks 5-8
**5% chance at weeks 8-14
For someone like me, who has had multiple losses and no live births, the stats are pretty scary.
**10-13% chance if you have had 1 loss
**40% chance if you have had 2 losses
**60% chance if you have had 3 or more losses.
**4 or more losses, a 5% chance of ever having a healthy pregnancy
This means, for me, I have more of a chance losing my next pregnancy than keeping it. Yikes! I keep praying that God will help us though. I told Chris that we will keep trying until I reach menopause and can't try anymore or we have a baby. Whichever happens first.
