Having a toddler can be fun, frustrating, and amusing. My toddler, Ginny, has the ability to be all three at once sometimes. The most amusing and frustrating times with her are when she is trying to communicate with us. There are moments where I swear she is talking to us in sentences that we just can't understand. Every once and a while, she will throw in a word that we know, but it doesn't help with comprehension. All you can do is nod your head and agree with her. I just hope I'm not agreeing to letting her jump off the top of the couch.
Ginny's vocabulary seems to grow daily. She has surprised me with words that we haven't worked on. For example, a couple of days ago she started pointing to a shirt I was wearing and saying "green." The shirt was indeed green. I have mentioned colors to her regularly but this was the first indication that she was paying attention.
What really leaves me amazed is how quickly she is starting to learn new words. In the last week, not only did she show that she knows the word green, but also the words "baby", "more", "bowl", "Barney", and "quack".
Now, this isn't to say that she doesn't confuse things. If Ginny wants to get down from a place, she says "down." If she wants up, she says "down." We are working on the word "up" still.
Not perfect, but she is slowly making progress. If only she would remember the word "Mommy" like she knows "Daddy," then life would be excellent. :-)
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
I'm Losing My Mind...
...or maybe I'm just lacking sleep.
For the past 6 weeks and 2 days, I have not slept longer than 4 1/2 hours in a row. Usually, I only get anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, waking about 2-3 times a night. Once in this time period, I actually got 8 hours of sleep with only one interruption! It was amazing the next morning. It has not happened again.
My lack of sleep is normal. After all, I have a 6-week-old infant, Grace. She is adorable and sweet. In many ways, she sleeps better than her sister did at this age. Most of the time, I am able to cope with my current level of sleep deprivation. Most of the time. However, there are consequences to not getting enough sleep.
I can no longer concentrate for long periods of time. My ability to focus is gone. If I try to concentrate too intently, I'll start to nod off.
Lack of concentration leads to a near-constant inability to understand what is going on around me at the intellectual level. My poor DH will be talking to me, but I don't comprehend what he is telling me a good portion of the time. I have to ask him to repeat things. Even then, I may not "get" what he said at all.
My ability to complete tasks has taken a toll. I have been considering writing in my blog for a couple of weeks now. I will come up with a topic, but when I go to write it, the topic has disappeared from my brain. In fact, I was going to write this current blog about something else entirely. About what? I have no clue. I forgot when I started, but then I thought the reason I forgot would be a good topic.
No energy leads to a lack of motivation, too. I want to bake more cookies for Christmas. I just can't talk myself into exerting that type of energy. Cooking, even, has become a matter of what is quickest and easiest. If we had more money, I would likely order out every time it was my turn to cook.
That being said, I was supposed to cook something in the crock pot the other day. I didn't though. Why? I forgot. You see, sleep deprivation leads to issues with my short-term memory. I didn't remember until my DH woke up around 11 a.m. (he is on overnight-shifts this week).
While I may be losing my mind due to sleep deprivation, it is worth it. My darling baby girl is growing and thriving. Someday, hopefully soon, she will sleep more consistently. When she starts to sleep better, I will get sleep. Until then, I will make it through with a little bit of caffeine. I hope.
For the past 6 weeks and 2 days, I have not slept longer than 4 1/2 hours in a row. Usually, I only get anywhere from 1 hour to 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, waking about 2-3 times a night. Once in this time period, I actually got 8 hours of sleep with only one interruption! It was amazing the next morning. It has not happened again.
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| My sleeping beauty. At least someone is getting sleep. |
I can no longer concentrate for long periods of time. My ability to focus is gone. If I try to concentrate too intently, I'll start to nod off.
Lack of concentration leads to a near-constant inability to understand what is going on around me at the intellectual level. My poor DH will be talking to me, but I don't comprehend what he is telling me a good portion of the time. I have to ask him to repeat things. Even then, I may not "get" what he said at all.
My ability to complete tasks has taken a toll. I have been considering writing in my blog for a couple of weeks now. I will come up with a topic, but when I go to write it, the topic has disappeared from my brain. In fact, I was going to write this current blog about something else entirely. About what? I have no clue. I forgot when I started, but then I thought the reason I forgot would be a good topic.
No energy leads to a lack of motivation, too. I want to bake more cookies for Christmas. I just can't talk myself into exerting that type of energy. Cooking, even, has become a matter of what is quickest and easiest. If we had more money, I would likely order out every time it was my turn to cook.
That being said, I was supposed to cook something in the crock pot the other day. I didn't though. Why? I forgot. You see, sleep deprivation leads to issues with my short-term memory. I didn't remember until my DH woke up around 11 a.m. (he is on overnight-shifts this week).
While I may be losing my mind due to sleep deprivation, it is worth it. My darling baby girl is growing and thriving. Someday, hopefully soon, she will sleep more consistently. When she starts to sleep better, I will get sleep. Until then, I will make it through with a little bit of caffeine. I hope.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Going for a Walk
I am out of shape, and it sucks!
Quite frankly, I blame pregnancy. Not going to a gym in a few years may play a part, but being pregnant with Grace pushed it over the edge. The reason? Well, my asthma got so bad that I could barely walk across the street without having issues breathing, much less walking a mile.
Now that I am nearly 4 weeks postpartum, recovering from the c-section, I feel the need to be more active. But how in the world do I manage that in the middle autumn with a 19-month-old and newborn? A special blessing of good weather I suppose. :) Starting yesterday and for the next few days, the temperatures are supposed to be in the upper 50s and lower 60s. Yee haw! I do LOVE winter and the temps involved don't bother me one bit; however, this warmth means I can get out of the house and go for a walk. What a wonderful blessing!
In anticipation of this lovely weather, I had my lovely husband put together the new double stroller that we just bought. He got it together for me, and yesterday morning, my girls and I went for a walk in our neighborhood. My street is basically one big loop, just under a mile long. Despite not going for long walks in a while, I decided to go for it and do that large loop. I managed it okay. It did take me longer than normal, but I walked the length.
Last night, I began regretting the decision to walk the long loop instead of a shorter walk. My muscles ached in ways I haven't felt in a while. I also was exhausted. I had sworn to myself that each day we had this nice weather, I would go for a walk with my girls. Because of the aches, I was doubtful I would be able to do the daily walk.
This morning, I awoke (after little Grace started fussing because she was hungry), got dressed, and weighed my options. I decided that I had to do this walk. It was good for me and good for the girls to get the fresh air. Then I figured I could always go for a shorter walk instead. At 10:15 this morning, the girls and I started on our walk. Instead of going on the shorter walk, though, I challenged myself by doing the longer walk again. I'm not sure if that was the right choice since right now my arms and back are sore from pushing the stroller; however, I'm glad we went for our walk. It was beautiful out and felt great to be out of the house.
I know this nice weather will not last. Soon we will find ourselves under the cold temperatures winter offers us. Once that happens, I don't imagine I will be walking with the stroller around the neighborhood. It would be too cold for my girls. As for me, I hope to start doing pilates during Ginny's naps, provided Grace "lets" me. Come March, once Grace is 4 months old, I plan on joining a local gym with daycare offered so I can start really working on getting in shape again. And, as the temperatures warm up, I want to start taking regular walks with my girls. I even have a goal. I want to walk a 5K** again. In May, Springfield has a 5K that I have my eyes on, the Fat Ass 5K. Hopefully, my girls and I will be able to tackle that.
**For those wondering, I do NOT run. Never will run. I can't run. I can't run for two reasons: my asthma and my drop foot. Before I had drop foot, I attempted several times to become a runner, but my asthma kicked my butt every time. Now, because of my drop foot, I would trip and do a face plant if I even tried to run. Now there is an image for you. LOL! ;)
Quite frankly, I blame pregnancy. Not going to a gym in a few years may play a part, but being pregnant with Grace pushed it over the edge. The reason? Well, my asthma got so bad that I could barely walk across the street without having issues breathing, much less walking a mile.
Now that I am nearly 4 weeks postpartum, recovering from the c-section, I feel the need to be more active. But how in the world do I manage that in the middle autumn with a 19-month-old and newborn? A special blessing of good weather I suppose. :) Starting yesterday and for the next few days, the temperatures are supposed to be in the upper 50s and lower 60s. Yee haw! I do LOVE winter and the temps involved don't bother me one bit; however, this warmth means I can get out of the house and go for a walk. What a wonderful blessing!
In anticipation of this lovely weather, I had my lovely husband put together the new double stroller that we just bought. He got it together for me, and yesterday morning, my girls and I went for a walk in our neighborhood. My street is basically one big loop, just under a mile long. Despite not going for long walks in a while, I decided to go for it and do that large loop. I managed it okay. It did take me longer than normal, but I walked the length.
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| Ginny & Grace ready to go. Ginny loves the new stroller! |
This morning, I awoke (after little Grace started fussing because she was hungry), got dressed, and weighed my options. I decided that I had to do this walk. It was good for me and good for the girls to get the fresh air. Then I figured I could always go for a shorter walk instead. At 10:15 this morning, the girls and I started on our walk. Instead of going on the shorter walk, though, I challenged myself by doing the longer walk again. I'm not sure if that was the right choice since right now my arms and back are sore from pushing the stroller; however, I'm glad we went for our walk. It was beautiful out and felt great to be out of the house.
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| My view before we started our walk this morning. |
**For those wondering, I do NOT run. Never will run. I can't run. I can't run for two reasons: my asthma and my drop foot. Before I had drop foot, I attempted several times to become a runner, but my asthma kicked my butt every time. Now, because of my drop foot, I would trip and do a face plant if I even tried to run. Now there is an image for you. LOL! ;)
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Surviving Solo
I have now been a mom for 19 months. Unbelievable, to me, still I went "solo" as a parent for the first time when Ginny, our first born, turned 3 weeks old. I had no doubts I could handle it. In fact, I looked forward to it. Going solo after Grace arrived worried me. This time I would not only have my 3 week old to care for, but also her 19-month-old sister. Eek!
On Tuesday, just 2 days ago, I went solo for the first time with Ginny and Grace. I am surviving thus far, and so are the girls. My schedule seems to mainly revolve around nursing Grace (she is exclusively breastfed); however, I have been able to balance that with Ginny's schedule. Luckily, Ginny got past most of the jealousy issues by the time Grace was 2 weeks old. When I nurse Grace, Ginny does seem to suddenly want attention from me. Usually, I can read her a book at those times and it is enough to satisfy her.
A couple of months before I had Grace, I found myself getting nervous about her arrival for this reason alone. Having a c-section? That was nothing. Getting no sleep? Been there, done that. Being left alone with 2 little ones all day? Terrifying!
Why was I worried? I was not sure how I could balance it all--taking care of a newborns needs as well as giving Ginny the attention she requires. The thought was overwhelming. I knew Ginny would be jealous of the new baby and the attention she would get. My concern was in helping her see that she still has my love and attention. Additionally, I had developed a schedule with Ginny. Would that be thrown off because of Grace's needs? How would Ginny handle things when I nursed Grace? Lots of questions and concerns weighed on me.
On Tuesday, just 2 days ago, I went solo for the first time with Ginny and Grace. I am surviving thus far, and so are the girls. My schedule seems to mainly revolve around nursing Grace (she is exclusively breastfed); however, I have been able to balance that with Ginny's schedule. Luckily, Ginny got past most of the jealousy issues by the time Grace was 2 weeks old. When I nurse Grace, Ginny does seem to suddenly want attention from me. Usually, I can read her a book at those times and it is enough to satisfy her.
The best thing about this week has been watching Ginny with Grace. She loves giving her hugs and kisses, especially when I nurse. That can be a bit awkward, but worth it. Before Ginny can give Grace a hug, she points at me and says her newest word--boob.
Right now, I am just trying to survive our days and schedules solo. The only other thing I work on is laundry, never ending when you have 2 little ones AND cloth diaper. Cleaning will have to wait until my DH has a day off. In a week or two, I will add it to our daily schedules, but I'm not ready for that now. My goal is just taking things one day at a time. So far, so good.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Introducing Grace Magdalen
A week ago, on November 5, 2012, at 8:03 a.m. I gave birth to our newest daughter, Grace Magdalen. She was 9 lbs 6 oz and 21 inches long!
My c-section went well, even better than my last one. I swear it was quicker too. Grace and I stayed in the hospital longer than anticipated though. On Thursday, we were dressed and ready to go home when a doctor and nurse came in to tell me that Grace's bilirubin level (jaundice levels) were too high and she would need to stay one more day, at least. Since insurance would cover me for 96 hours after a c-section, I decided we would both stay in the hospital. I was not leaving without my baby girl. So, Grace was put under blue lights. She was not thrilled with the experience, but she and I managed. The next morning, Grace's levels had dropped substantially and we were both released and headed home.
Grace is a sweet, baby girl and HUNGRY nearly all the time. Her sister Ginny has decided that she likes her and enjoys giving her hugs. Ginny is a bit jealous though of the attention Grace gets over her, especially when I'm feeding Grace. However, I'm sure with time she will adjust to the new situation and the changes in her world. I hope. :)
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| Screaming soon after birth. |
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| I finally get to hold Grace. |
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| My lovely family |
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| Under the blue lights |
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| Home, sweet, home |
Monday, October 29, 2012
The Home Stretch
One week to go.
Yep, that's it. Just one week. Heck, even less by a few hours. Next Monday, at 7:30 a.m., I will be having my c-section to give birth to Lil' Miss Peanut, unless she decides to come a bit earlier, of course.
I can't begin to express how happy I am to be in this home stretch. To be honest, I'm done with it all at this point. Pregnancy has been something I enjoy. After all, my abs are never tighter than when I'm pregnant. LOL! I love feeling the baby moving inside of me and knowing that I have this little life depending on me.
However, this pregnancy has been tough in these last few weeks. Tougher than I faced with Ginny, for sure.
The major issue I have dealt with is a sciatic nerve that makes walking, on a good day, a challenge. Often times, I will suddenly be unable to walk across a room because one leg or the other tries to cave under me. No fun.
In the last few days, I have dealt with a new issue, a pulsing spine. I will sit down or be standing and suddenly it will feel as if my spine is pulsing from the lowest area of my back and goes up to my neck. Usually it lasts anywhere from 30-90 seconds. Last night, I woke with that sensation on two different occasions. Of course, this leaves my DH and me a bit concerned. I contacted my cousin this weekend (she is an Ob/Gyn nurse) to see if I should contact the telenurse. She said it was probably related to the sciatica and to just rest. This morning, after dealing with the issue in the middle of the night, I called my doctor. I figured that it was nothing to worry about, but that she should at least know what is going on. I got a call back from her nurse who let me know that my doctor thinks the baby has just found a new nerve to lay on and it is nothing to worry about. She reminded me that we are in the homestretch. Thank goodness!
Beyond the physical discomforts, we are prepping for the arrival of Peanut in our home. The house is pretty darn clean now. Dusting is done, windows washed (well, I did what I could and not well. LOL), rooms organized as well as closets, baby laundry complete, and any paperwork done. Right now, my lovely husband is grocery shopping for the next week's food. I wish I could go with him. I miss grocery shopping (strange, I know, but I love grocery shopping).
On Sunday, my parents should be arriving to spend the next 3 weeks with us as well. They will be helping out, and I'm thankful they can come and do just that. I'm looking forward to seeing them soon! It has been a few months since I last saw them. Of course, I now am trying to avoid calling my mother until they arrive so I don't give her a heart attack with every call since we are all on baby watch now. LOL!
It feels better knowing that all these little things are done and ready for my parents and Peanut to arrive. The only one who doesn't fully understand what is going on is Ginny. At 18 months of age, she has no comprehension of what is about to happen. Hopefully, she accepts everything fairly quickly.
So, in less than 7 days from now, we will have a slightly larger family and all this pain I've dealt with will seem like nothing. I can't wait!
Yep, that's it. Just one week. Heck, even less by a few hours. Next Monday, at 7:30 a.m., I will be having my c-section to give birth to Lil' Miss Peanut, unless she decides to come a bit earlier, of course.
I can't begin to express how happy I am to be in this home stretch. To be honest, I'm done with it all at this point. Pregnancy has been something I enjoy. After all, my abs are never tighter than when I'm pregnant. LOL! I love feeling the baby moving inside of me and knowing that I have this little life depending on me.
However, this pregnancy has been tough in these last few weeks. Tougher than I faced with Ginny, for sure.
The major issue I have dealt with is a sciatic nerve that makes walking, on a good day, a challenge. Often times, I will suddenly be unable to walk across a room because one leg or the other tries to cave under me. No fun.
In the last few days, I have dealt with a new issue, a pulsing spine. I will sit down or be standing and suddenly it will feel as if my spine is pulsing from the lowest area of my back and goes up to my neck. Usually it lasts anywhere from 30-90 seconds. Last night, I woke with that sensation on two different occasions. Of course, this leaves my DH and me a bit concerned. I contacted my cousin this weekend (she is an Ob/Gyn nurse) to see if I should contact the telenurse. She said it was probably related to the sciatica and to just rest. This morning, after dealing with the issue in the middle of the night, I called my doctor. I figured that it was nothing to worry about, but that she should at least know what is going on. I got a call back from her nurse who let me know that my doctor thinks the baby has just found a new nerve to lay on and it is nothing to worry about. She reminded me that we are in the homestretch. Thank goodness!
Beyond the physical discomforts, we are prepping for the arrival of Peanut in our home. The house is pretty darn clean now. Dusting is done, windows washed (well, I did what I could and not well. LOL), rooms organized as well as closets, baby laundry complete, and any paperwork done. Right now, my lovely husband is grocery shopping for the next week's food. I wish I could go with him. I miss grocery shopping (strange, I know, but I love grocery shopping).
On Sunday, my parents should be arriving to spend the next 3 weeks with us as well. They will be helping out, and I'm thankful they can come and do just that. I'm looking forward to seeing them soon! It has been a few months since I last saw them. Of course, I now am trying to avoid calling my mother until they arrive so I don't give her a heart attack with every call since we are all on baby watch now. LOL!
It feels better knowing that all these little things are done and ready for my parents and Peanut to arrive. The only one who doesn't fully understand what is going on is Ginny. At 18 months of age, she has no comprehension of what is about to happen. Hopefully, she accepts everything fairly quickly.
So, in less than 7 days from now, we will have a slightly larger family and all this pain I've dealt with will seem like nothing. I can't wait!
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Pregnancy is So Glamorous! Yeah, Right...
I love being pregnant. I really do! I love and enjoy pregnancy. After I had Ginny, I missed being pregnant and couldn't wait to do it again. The reason I love being pregnant is knowing that I have a little life growing inside of me. Feeling the baby move inside of me only makes it better.
However, I would not say that pregnancy has been all fabulous or that I have had easy pregnancies. In fact, pregnancy is not glamorous and not always fun.
I do find that when finding out you are pregnant, you "know" that there will be rough spots at the beginning but figure it will be a piece of cake after that. If you have had a baby, then you know that isn't necessarily true. If you have never been pregnant (and especially if you plan to become pregnant someday) there are some things that you don't realize until you get there. Surprising and sometimes unpleasant things. If you plan to be a mom someday, I encourage you to read The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. Not only is the book funny, but it does prepare you in a way that isn't frightening.
My blog may not be quite as entertaining as the book, but I thought I would share my wisdom/experiences and what I faced through my last 2 pregnancies.
Morning Sickness:
Morning sickness is a misnomer. It doesn't just happen in the morning. For me, I would get sick after brushing my teeth (before eating breakfast). There is nothing quite like "losing" acid every morning. Then, I would be sick in the late afternoon and evening...unable to keep down dinner.
Additionally, morning sickness is NOT just a first trimester experience. Once you enter the 2nd trimester, it doesn't magically go away. It may start to taper, but it can last a few weeks into that 2nd tri. With Ginny, my morning sickness lasted until I was around 34 weeks along...way into the 3rd trimester. I "lucked" out this time around and was only sick until the 24th week.
That being said, there are some women who don't get morning sickness. These women infuriate me, in some ways. How can I be tortured so but they avoid it? My sister was one of those women. Grrr! However, at the same time, after 3 miscarriages, I found morning sickness to be reassuring. Weird, I know.
Extra Saliva, otherwise known as Drool:
It is a known fact that women, when pregnant, will often deal with the production of excess saliva. Apparently, women who suffer morning sickness are MORE likely to have this issue than women who don't get sick. The extra saliva can be fine when you are awake, but for me, it always gets bad when I'm sleeping. I am not normally a sleeping drooler, but while pregnant, I have found that drool is something I deal with....constantly. It is quite annoying.
Ouch...Don't Touch My Girls!
I have found that during pregnancy that my "girls" (i.e., my boobs) seem to become possessed. Apparently every woman has a different experience with this. I'm naturally large busted. While my "girls" did grow during pregnancy (and more so with BFing), they weren't especially sensitive during the first couple of months. Some women deal with a lot more pain early on than I did. However, what I deal with has been random pulsing and pain in one boob or the other at odd times. The worst is when I'm at Mass at I have a particularly painful twinge. That is not the time to call out in pain. Now that I have a toddler, I find myself defending my "girls" a lot. My lovely daughter has a tendency to kick one or both of the "girls" when I am changing her diaper or even she decides it is a good time to climb me when playing (her elbows are wicked weapons).
Spotting:
Spotting, quite frankly, freaks me out. I hate it. I have read that it is normal for women to spot. Before I got pregnant with Ginny, though, I lost 3 babies. With 2 of the pregnancies, spotting was a sign that I was losing the babies.
But....I did have "normal" spotting while pregnant with Ginny, in particular. Some women have very sensitive cervixes. I was one of these women. If I got an internal exam from my OB, I would spot. If I had intimate relations with my DH, I would spot. If you spot, discuss all your options with your doctor and let them know right away.
The Cervical Trampoline:
Speaking of the cervix, I did a lot of reading about what to expect as a pregnant woman. One thing I never read was how my cervix might someday turn into a trampoline for my unborn child. It was shocking (literally) and unexpected the first time it happened. My daughter, Ginny, kicked or stomped on my cervix (obviously, from the inside) a handful of times. It feels a bit like lightening and will stop you in your tracks the first time it happens (if it happens to you). I'm currently 8 1/2 months pregnant. This baby has acted like my cervix is a trampoline. I have gone through 2-3 hour time periods where she seems to be jumping up and down on it. Not fun.
Asthmatics, Beware:
One of the biggest struggles I have dealt with in both pregnancies is with my asthma. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was around 8 years old. Before getting pregnant, my asthma was completely under control. After, well, not so much. I didn't know this at the time, but approximately 1/3 of asthmatic women who become pregnant will have their asthma worsen. The good news is that 1/3 get better and 1/3 stay the same. I just happen to fall under that 1/3 group that got worse. I have had to go on additional medications to make sure my asthma stays under control and that my baby gets the air it needs. I look forward to giving birth so that I can get off the additional meds. :)
Where is the Bathroom? And Why Did I Have to Sneeze?
Throughout each pregnancy, I have found that it is important to always be aware of the closest bathroom. Beginning to the end of the pregnancy. It becomes even more important toward the end as your baby is likely to be pressing against your bladder constantly. Currently, if I am sitting I am usually fine, but the moment I stand up, I have to run to the bathroom. If I hear water running, I have to run to the bathroom. If the baby is particularly active, you got it....running to the bathroom. My daughter Ginny loved to kick my bladder, especially when I would stand at Mass.
The other issue along this line is sneezing (and laughing or coughing, etc.). Practice those Kegel exercises throughout your pregnancy. They will help you out, trust me. If I know I'm about to sneeze or cough, I apply those exercises to prevent any "accidents" from occurring. It gets worse the further along you go. From what I understand, it keeps being an issue once you are done having kids. Oh joy.
In Conclusion
While pregnancy may not be glamorous or fun (and I haven't mentioned the new pains you may have, the issues with the sciatic nerve you may face, or the inability to bend over), it is worth every thing you go through. For some reason, I love being pregnant despite all the crap I described above. Right now, my little one is dancing inside of me. I love "playing" with her a bit and feeling that movement. I love knowing that she will be in my arms soon. And, I imagine I will miss being pregnant again. Insane? Maybe, but a blessing I am quite thankful for.
However, I would not say that pregnancy has been all fabulous or that I have had easy pregnancies. In fact, pregnancy is not glamorous and not always fun.
I do find that when finding out you are pregnant, you "know" that there will be rough spots at the beginning but figure it will be a piece of cake after that. If you have had a baby, then you know that isn't necessarily true. If you have never been pregnant (and especially if you plan to become pregnant someday) there are some things that you don't realize until you get there. Surprising and sometimes unpleasant things. If you plan to be a mom someday, I encourage you to read The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy. Not only is the book funny, but it does prepare you in a way that isn't frightening.
My blog may not be quite as entertaining as the book, but I thought I would share my wisdom/experiences and what I faced through my last 2 pregnancies.
Morning Sickness:
Morning sickness is a misnomer. It doesn't just happen in the morning. For me, I would get sick after brushing my teeth (before eating breakfast). There is nothing quite like "losing" acid every morning. Then, I would be sick in the late afternoon and evening...unable to keep down dinner.
Additionally, morning sickness is NOT just a first trimester experience. Once you enter the 2nd trimester, it doesn't magically go away. It may start to taper, but it can last a few weeks into that 2nd tri. With Ginny, my morning sickness lasted until I was around 34 weeks along...way into the 3rd trimester. I "lucked" out this time around and was only sick until the 24th week.
That being said, there are some women who don't get morning sickness. These women infuriate me, in some ways. How can I be tortured so but they avoid it? My sister was one of those women. Grrr! However, at the same time, after 3 miscarriages, I found morning sickness to be reassuring. Weird, I know.
Extra Saliva, otherwise known as Drool:
It is a known fact that women, when pregnant, will often deal with the production of excess saliva. Apparently, women who suffer morning sickness are MORE likely to have this issue than women who don't get sick. The extra saliva can be fine when you are awake, but for me, it always gets bad when I'm sleeping. I am not normally a sleeping drooler, but while pregnant, I have found that drool is something I deal with....constantly. It is quite annoying.
Ouch...Don't Touch My Girls!
I have found that during pregnancy that my "girls" (i.e., my boobs) seem to become possessed. Apparently every woman has a different experience with this. I'm naturally large busted. While my "girls" did grow during pregnancy (and more so with BFing), they weren't especially sensitive during the first couple of months. Some women deal with a lot more pain early on than I did. However, what I deal with has been random pulsing and pain in one boob or the other at odd times. The worst is when I'm at Mass at I have a particularly painful twinge. That is not the time to call out in pain. Now that I have a toddler, I find myself defending my "girls" a lot. My lovely daughter has a tendency to kick one or both of the "girls" when I am changing her diaper or even she decides it is a good time to climb me when playing (her elbows are wicked weapons).
Spotting:
Spotting, quite frankly, freaks me out. I hate it. I have read that it is normal for women to spot. Before I got pregnant with Ginny, though, I lost 3 babies. With 2 of the pregnancies, spotting was a sign that I was losing the babies.
But....I did have "normal" spotting while pregnant with Ginny, in particular. Some women have very sensitive cervixes. I was one of these women. If I got an internal exam from my OB, I would spot. If I had intimate relations with my DH, I would spot. If you spot, discuss all your options with your doctor and let them know right away.
The Cervical Trampoline:
Speaking of the cervix, I did a lot of reading about what to expect as a pregnant woman. One thing I never read was how my cervix might someday turn into a trampoline for my unborn child. It was shocking (literally) and unexpected the first time it happened. My daughter, Ginny, kicked or stomped on my cervix (obviously, from the inside) a handful of times. It feels a bit like lightening and will stop you in your tracks the first time it happens (if it happens to you). I'm currently 8 1/2 months pregnant. This baby has acted like my cervix is a trampoline. I have gone through 2-3 hour time periods where she seems to be jumping up and down on it. Not fun.
Asthmatics, Beware:
One of the biggest struggles I have dealt with in both pregnancies is with my asthma. I was diagnosed with asthma when I was around 8 years old. Before getting pregnant, my asthma was completely under control. After, well, not so much. I didn't know this at the time, but approximately 1/3 of asthmatic women who become pregnant will have their asthma worsen. The good news is that 1/3 get better and 1/3 stay the same. I just happen to fall under that 1/3 group that got worse. I have had to go on additional medications to make sure my asthma stays under control and that my baby gets the air it needs. I look forward to giving birth so that I can get off the additional meds. :)
Where is the Bathroom? And Why Did I Have to Sneeze?
Throughout each pregnancy, I have found that it is important to always be aware of the closest bathroom. Beginning to the end of the pregnancy. It becomes even more important toward the end as your baby is likely to be pressing against your bladder constantly. Currently, if I am sitting I am usually fine, but the moment I stand up, I have to run to the bathroom. If I hear water running, I have to run to the bathroom. If the baby is particularly active, you got it....running to the bathroom. My daughter Ginny loved to kick my bladder, especially when I would stand at Mass.
The other issue along this line is sneezing (and laughing or coughing, etc.). Practice those Kegel exercises throughout your pregnancy. They will help you out, trust me. If I know I'm about to sneeze or cough, I apply those exercises to prevent any "accidents" from occurring. It gets worse the further along you go. From what I understand, it keeps being an issue once you are done having kids. Oh joy.
In Conclusion
While pregnancy may not be glamorous or fun (and I haven't mentioned the new pains you may have, the issues with the sciatic nerve you may face, or the inability to bend over), it is worth every thing you go through. For some reason, I love being pregnant despite all the crap I described above. Right now, my little one is dancing inside of me. I love "playing" with her a bit and feeling that movement. I love knowing that she will be in my arms soon. And, I imagine I will miss being pregnant again. Insane? Maybe, but a blessing I am quite thankful for.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
Little Girls Don't Wear Red or Orange: Another Reason I Hate Shopping
I hate shopping!
It is true. I am not your stereotypical female. I do not like shopping, and never really have.
There are a few exceptions though. I don't mind grocery stores, garage sales, antique shops, and quirky, fun stores or even tourist trap shops. However, I am not one who can wander around for hours looking at every little thing. I am one who knows at a glance if I like anything. If I don't, I move on.
Just because I'm not a fan of shopping, though, doesn't mean I'm not good at it. I am quite good at finding decent deals and saving some money. After all, years ago I was a department manager at a Macy's. I know what to look for now.
I did have hope that having a child would have me enjoy shopping more. What could be more fun than shopping for cute clothes for your adorable little one? However, I still do not find shopping fun. In fact, if anything, I find it MORE frustrating and aggravating than ever. Quite frankly, I often finish shopping for my daughter pissed off.
Several months ago, I vented on the obsession of stores with selling pink and princess stuff for little girls. It is often difficult to escape this retail push to buy everything pink and purple for a baby girl (or even a toddler or a little girl). Don't get me wrong, I like pink and purple just fine. Ginny has quite a few things in these colors that I have picked up for her. However, I like the idea of having color variety in her wardrobe. Ginny looks pretty fabulous in orange, yellow, and red as well as a few non-pink and pastel colors.
When I shop for clothes for Ginny, I look for a variety of colors and styles. It is kind of amusing that if you buy something in red or blue or even brown, it will have pink or purple on it, somewhere (even though most reds don't go well with pink or purple). I can deal with that to a degree. However, I've recently hit a wall of frustration in trying to find socks and accessories in colors other than pastels, pinks, or purples. It infuriates me when all I want is a cute barrette or even a pair of cute socks in the color red, but they don't sell that for girls. They don't sell those items in green, blue, orange, or even yellow most of the time.
I spent an afternoon looking for those items in those colors and found nothing on the girls' clothing side of the aisles. All I could find were pastels and each had a hint of , you guessed it, pink. Grrr!! I eventually found some socks in those colors, but the socks were not cute. They were basic and solid, which is fine, and they were in the boys' clothing section. Not one hair accessory was available in those colors though. Not one.
Do store buyers really believe that girls don't wear colors other than pinks, purples, and pastels?? Do they not realize that other colors exist for girls? They must not, or they must believe they won't sell enough. They have gotten so in the habit of only selling those colors they don't realize the sales are good, not because of the colors, but because the choices are limited.
Until stores offer more color variety, I find myself, once again, hating shopping. Ugh.
It is true. I am not your stereotypical female. I do not like shopping, and never really have.
There are a few exceptions though. I don't mind grocery stores, garage sales, antique shops, and quirky, fun stores or even tourist trap shops. However, I am not one who can wander around for hours looking at every little thing. I am one who knows at a glance if I like anything. If I don't, I move on.
Just because I'm not a fan of shopping, though, doesn't mean I'm not good at it. I am quite good at finding decent deals and saving some money. After all, years ago I was a department manager at a Macy's. I know what to look for now.
I did have hope that having a child would have me enjoy shopping more. What could be more fun than shopping for cute clothes for your adorable little one? However, I still do not find shopping fun. In fact, if anything, I find it MORE frustrating and aggravating than ever. Quite frankly, I often finish shopping for my daughter pissed off.
Several months ago, I vented on the obsession of stores with selling pink and princess stuff for little girls. It is often difficult to escape this retail push to buy everything pink and purple for a baby girl (or even a toddler or a little girl). Don't get me wrong, I like pink and purple just fine. Ginny has quite a few things in these colors that I have picked up for her. However, I like the idea of having color variety in her wardrobe. Ginny looks pretty fabulous in orange, yellow, and red as well as a few non-pink and pastel colors.
When I shop for clothes for Ginny, I look for a variety of colors and styles. It is kind of amusing that if you buy something in red or blue or even brown, it will have pink or purple on it, somewhere (even though most reds don't go well with pink or purple). I can deal with that to a degree. However, I've recently hit a wall of frustration in trying to find socks and accessories in colors other than pastels, pinks, or purples. It infuriates me when all I want is a cute barrette or even a pair of cute socks in the color red, but they don't sell that for girls. They don't sell those items in green, blue, orange, or even yellow most of the time.
I spent an afternoon looking for those items in those colors and found nothing on the girls' clothing side of the aisles. All I could find were pastels and each had a hint of , you guessed it, pink. Grrr!! I eventually found some socks in those colors, but the socks were not cute. They were basic and solid, which is fine, and they were in the boys' clothing section. Not one hair accessory was available in those colors though. Not one.
Do store buyers really believe that girls don't wear colors other than pinks, purples, and pastels?? Do they not realize that other colors exist for girls? They must not, or they must believe they won't sell enough. They have gotten so in the habit of only selling those colors they don't realize the sales are good, not because of the colors, but because the choices are limited.
Until stores offer more color variety, I find myself, once again, hating shopping. Ugh.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Adventure at the Zoo
I enjoy living in the Midwest. The temperatures are perfect, except summer when I'm miserable and hot. :) The only big downside to living up here is that it puts me 1,000 miles away from my immediate family who all still live in Florida (I moved back up here over 3 years ago when I married my DH). I'm lucky that I have mobile parents who do come up to visit us fairly regularly. We try to make a trip down to Florida every 9-12 months or so. So, basically, we only see my sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew only once a year. :( A real bummer.
However, this year is an exception. My sister and her family flew up from Florida so she could attend her 20th high school reunion in St. Charles, Missouri. On Sunday, my family and I drove down to St. Louis to meet up with her. We were excited at having this additional opportunity to visit with my sister and her family.
The day started off great and almost destined to be good. As soon as we got off the exit to go to Imo's Pizza (awesome St. Louis-style pizza), I realized my sister was behind us at the light. What timing!! We had an enjoyable lunch at Imo's. My niece, Kendall (6), and nephew, Carson (5), were as energetic as usual. Kendall and Carson were thrilled to see Ginny again. They hadn't seen her since early June and were astounded at how much bigger she was. Kendall and Carson call Ginny "Baby Ginny." Their mom wonders how old Ginny will be when they drop that name for her. Otherwise, we caught up on their trip so far and how my sister's reunion went.
After lunch, we headed over to the St. Louis Zoo! I honestly adore this zoo. The location is beautiful, being in Forest Park. It is one of the best zoos out there, I think. Part of the reason I love it is because it is free to enter. Parking, on the other hand, can be free if you are lucky enough to find a parallel parking spot. However, finding one of those after lunch on a Sunday is nearly impossible so we didn't even try and paid for parking.
When we first walked into the zoo, DH went to change Ginny's diaper. I had planned on changing it at Imo's but there was no place to change a diaper there. Sigh. While Ginny's diaper was being changed, Kendall and Carson got their faces painted for the day. They looked lovely! From there we enjoyed looking at all the animals and spending time together as a family.
Kendall and Carson are really good cousins (Ginny has lucked out in the cousin department on both sides of her family). They spent time talking to Ginny and playing with her. Carson was especially attentive to Ginny. He would even walk beside her when she was in her stroller to help keep her company. Ginny didn't seem to notice the bigger animals, but seemed to enjoy the small ones, especially the monkeys and prairie dogs.
We did let Ginny get out of her stroller on occasion to toddle around. She was thrilled and often tried to "run" more than walk. It gave her a thrill to be out, about, and free. However, as any parent to a toddler knows, a toddler is not a pro at walking and tends to fall. Ginny was going down a bit of a hill and fell forward a bit, catching herself with her hands. Unfortunately, she rubbed her head along the pavement and scratched her head up a bit...ending up with a bruise as well. :( She was not upset, and this seemed to upset Carson too. He kept saying, "It's my fault." He had been walking with her and blamed himself. I reassured him that it wasn't his fault and accidents happen, especially with toddlers. Ginny didn't let the bump and bruise get her down for long and enjoyed the rest of the day.
We left the zoo after being there for about 4 hours and headed to Soulard to meet up with my Aunt Carol and Uncle Keith for dinner at McGurk's. Again, our timing was perfect. We all got to the restaurant, after parking in various locations, at the same time. Wild. We ate outside in the garden and had a lovely time. It was becoming quite clear, though, that Ginny was tired and done for the day. Ginny has a great disposition and is usually all smiles, but she was getting frustrated quicker than normal. My Aunt Carol kept her entertained so Ginny made it through just fine (Thanks, Aunt Carol!).
Once dinner ended, we all said our goodbyes. Chris, Ginny, and I needed to head home. When we got to the car, Chris changed Ginny's diaper and put her in her PJs. We made one stop for gas (after all, it is 20 cents cheaper in St. Louis than where we live in Illinois), then hit the road. Ginny fell asleep in minutes.
Today has been a day of recovery. Being 8 1/2 months pregnant, walking around a zoo for 4 hours is quite tiring. My plan has been to take it easy all day. Ginny, on the other hand, has been cranky most of the day. She is still tired from yesterday. Not only did she have a lot of activity, but she didn't get her usual 3-hour nap in for the day either. But, I would say, despite all that, the day was well worth it. I'm so glad that we got to spend time with my sister and her family. I wouldn't change that for the world.
However, this year is an exception. My sister and her family flew up from Florida so she could attend her 20th high school reunion in St. Charles, Missouri. On Sunday, my family and I drove down to St. Louis to meet up with her. We were excited at having this additional opportunity to visit with my sister and her family.
The day started off great and almost destined to be good. As soon as we got off the exit to go to Imo's Pizza (awesome St. Louis-style pizza), I realized my sister was behind us at the light. What timing!! We had an enjoyable lunch at Imo's. My niece, Kendall (6), and nephew, Carson (5), were as energetic as usual. Kendall and Carson were thrilled to see Ginny again. They hadn't seen her since early June and were astounded at how much bigger she was. Kendall and Carson call Ginny "Baby Ginny." Their mom wonders how old Ginny will be when they drop that name for her. Otherwise, we caught up on their trip so far and how my sister's reunion went.
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| Ginny and I at the zoo entrance waiting on Kendall & Carson. |
When we first walked into the zoo, DH went to change Ginny's diaper. I had planned on changing it at Imo's but there was no place to change a diaper there. Sigh. While Ginny's diaper was being changed, Kendall and Carson got their faces painted for the day. They looked lovely! From there we enjoyed looking at all the animals and spending time together as a family.
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| Ginny with her cousins Carson (in blue) and Kendall (in white) looking at the Red River Hog. |
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| Ginny toddling with her Aunt Amy and cousin Kendall. |
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| Carson making sure that Ginny had company |
We left the zoo after being there for about 4 hours and headed to Soulard to meet up with my Aunt Carol and Uncle Keith for dinner at McGurk's. Again, our timing was perfect. We all got to the restaurant, after parking in various locations, at the same time. Wild. We ate outside in the garden and had a lovely time. It was becoming quite clear, though, that Ginny was tired and done for the day. Ginny has a great disposition and is usually all smiles, but she was getting frustrated quicker than normal. My Aunt Carol kept her entertained so Ginny made it through just fine (Thanks, Aunt Carol!).
Once dinner ended, we all said our goodbyes. Chris, Ginny, and I needed to head home. When we got to the car, Chris changed Ginny's diaper and put her in her PJs. We made one stop for gas (after all, it is 20 cents cheaper in St. Louis than where we live in Illinois), then hit the road. Ginny fell asleep in minutes.
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| Ginny with her bruised & scratched forehead, clearly a bit cranky. |
Thursday, September 13, 2012
The Story of My Rebirth
On this day, 16 years ago, my life changed forever. It didn't change for the worse or better, although things were quite tough for a while. They just changed my world, and even the world around those who loved me most, and helped to shape me into the woman I am today. Every year, when this date comes around, I find myself remembering and reflecting. In some ways I think of it as a rebirth-day because it was a day of rebirth in many ways. For the first few years, I would find my mood shift to one of restlessness and anxiety until I realized that this day was nearing. Once I realized that, I would be like, "Oh yeah. I get it." Now, I sometimes don't notice until the day before or the day of, but I always remember it.
The morning of Friday, September 13, 1996 was one of the worst days of my life, and that of my family and friends. However, it was also one of the most blessed days in my life, although the blessing was not immediately apparent. Not until later did I realize what a gift I received. It was a day when I was wanting death, but instead found life.
I remember standing with tears filling my eyes and saying a prayer to God, despite being agnostic, unsure of His existence. I asked and prayed that God would help me. Certain my prayer would not be answered, and in some ways afraid it would, my tears increased as I looked around me. I was on the balcony of my hotel room looking out at the Pacific Ocean and Diamond Head off in the distance, although my view was blurry since my glasses were in my Waikiki hotel room safe. I don't remember the next part. My brain saved me from the pain of reliving it, but what I know is this. At some point, I climbed onto the ledge of the balcony and looked down. All I saw was green. A moment later, in desperation, I stepped off the balcony and fell eleven stories down, over 110 feet, to what I was certain would be my death.
My world completely changed on that day. It changed my sister, parents, friends, and family. No one knew I was in that place. I had gotten so good at masking my feelings from everyone over the years that no one had any idea that I was in that depressed and hopeless place.
From the time I was 11, I struggled with depression.When I was 12, I started to first consider suicide as a legitimate option. After my Grandpa Scott killed himself, when I was 14, I "knew" it was an option. During my senior year of high school and my sophomore year of college I had suicidal thoughts again, but was able to talk myself out of it. I was never treated. I did seek help on a couple of occasions, but I felt no one really listened or dealt with it seriously. So, it must not have been the real thing, right? Wrong. Obviously. What I did learn was how to mask what I was feeling. Heck, I was so good at masking that I didn't know I hit that wall until a few days before my attempt, when I decided to drive cross-country from where I lived in New Jersey out to California so I could die far away from anyone I knew. For some reason, I decided to fly to Hawaii, and a few days after I arrived, I stepped off that balcony.
God did answer my prayer, the one I prayed before I fell. He saved my life on that day. I'm convinced that Angels came down from heaven and made sure I fell through a tree. The tree buffered and slowed my fall so that I didn't hit that ground as hard as I "should have." Apparently, another guest at the hotel saw me falling and called 911. The paramedics arrived and got me to Queens Medical Center, the best trauma hospital in the Pacific at the time. The doctors did amazing work, but didn't think I would make it. They even told my parents on the phone not to fly out right away because it was likely that I would die on the table during surgery. I didn't and my parents and sister flew to Hawaii as fast as they could. I remember being in ICU sometime after and a nurse telling me my family was on their way. Tears came to my eyes. Tears of relief. I think part of me thought that they wouldn't come. I lay in the hospital bed with my broken body grateful my family would come soon, but scared as well.
My struggle back was a difficult one. I had broken 6 ribs. One rib punctured a lung and then the other lung collapsed. I had a minor skull fracture. I broke my upper left arm, shattered my right hip, and broke my pelvis in 4 places. In exploratory surgery to stop internal bleeding the doctors discovered that my stomach lining was torn, I severed a kidney and part of the liver (all repaired) and ended up losing my gall bladder. I had tree limbs and twigs impale me in odd locations that required care. I had tried to kill myself the night before by overdosing on drugs (ibuprofen, prescriptions, anything I could find). All I ended up doing was throwing them up. However, because of all the drugs still in my system, my blood was quite thin and surgeries to repair my bones would need to wait. The surgery was performed 2-3 weeks later and put me back in ICU. I had 2 pulmonary embolisms, developed compartment syndrome (resulting in a fasciotomy to my right calf and right foot), and required a skin graft.
After spending nearly 2 months in the hospital in Hawaii, I was flown to New Jersey, where I was living before all of this happened. From there I went to a physical rehabilitation hospital, Kessler. I spent 2 months there and didn't leave until early January. It was at Kessler where I relearned how to take care of myself and start to get the strength to walk again. I also got some worthwhile, and much needed, therapy. One of the first things we worked on was getting me on Zoloft and learning to identify my emotions. It was soon after that I was officially diagnosed as being bipolar.
One very clear memory I have was a moment in my ICU room at Queens Medical Center. I looked around my room and for the first time truly noticed all the balloons and cards I had received. Tears filled my eyes with a sense of realization that I was well and truly loved. I never "knew" that before. And then another thing hit me like a thunderbolt. God does exist. He saved my life. I knew in that moment, I would never do something like that to myself again. He alone was in control. I did all I could to end my life, but HE stopped it. He decided if it was my time to live or die. In that moment, I found the joy of life.
It took years for me to fully cope with my actions. My ability to walk would never been the same. Almost exactly a year after my attempt, on 9/11/97, I had a total hip replacement because the arthritis took over my right hip. Because of the compartment syndrome, I have nerve damage from my right knee down and drop foot. The physical was easier to deal with in some ways that the emotional. I had to relearn who I was. I was grateful for life! I still am and still thank God daily for letting me live. It took a while though to come to grips with the me before my suicide attempt and the me I had become since and putting them together. I remember once, a few years ago, I was feeling particularly happy and my mom noticed. She commented that I must finally love myself. I said no. That wasn't it because I had loved myself for a while. It was hard to explain at the time. The difference for me was that I finally had fully forgiven myself, those who had hurt me in the past, and figured out who I was.
To this day, I look at the events of that day as a blessing. I was blessed by God's love and kindness to be given life again. Now I appreciate it in way I never did before. Since that day, I am now closer than ever to my family. I married a wonderful man, and we have a beautiful daughter and one on the way. God has blessed me with so much. I am so very thankful. God is good!
**If you struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get help! Keep letting people you need help before you end up where I did. Contact a suicide hotline, please!
The morning of Friday, September 13, 1996 was one of the worst days of my life, and that of my family and friends. However, it was also one of the most blessed days in my life, although the blessing was not immediately apparent. Not until later did I realize what a gift I received. It was a day when I was wanting death, but instead found life.
I remember standing with tears filling my eyes and saying a prayer to God, despite being agnostic, unsure of His existence. I asked and prayed that God would help me. Certain my prayer would not be answered, and in some ways afraid it would, my tears increased as I looked around me. I was on the balcony of my hotel room looking out at the Pacific Ocean and Diamond Head off in the distance, although my view was blurry since my glasses were in my Waikiki hotel room safe. I don't remember the next part. My brain saved me from the pain of reliving it, but what I know is this. At some point, I climbed onto the ledge of the balcony and looked down. All I saw was green. A moment later, in desperation, I stepped off the balcony and fell eleven stories down, over 110 feet, to what I was certain would be my death.
My world completely changed on that day. It changed my sister, parents, friends, and family. No one knew I was in that place. I had gotten so good at masking my feelings from everyone over the years that no one had any idea that I was in that depressed and hopeless place.
From the time I was 11, I struggled with depression.When I was 12, I started to first consider suicide as a legitimate option. After my Grandpa Scott killed himself, when I was 14, I "knew" it was an option. During my senior year of high school and my sophomore year of college I had suicidal thoughts again, but was able to talk myself out of it. I was never treated. I did seek help on a couple of occasions, but I felt no one really listened or dealt with it seriously. So, it must not have been the real thing, right? Wrong. Obviously. What I did learn was how to mask what I was feeling. Heck, I was so good at masking that I didn't know I hit that wall until a few days before my attempt, when I decided to drive cross-country from where I lived in New Jersey out to California so I could die far away from anyone I knew. For some reason, I decided to fly to Hawaii, and a few days after I arrived, I stepped off that balcony.
God did answer my prayer, the one I prayed before I fell. He saved my life on that day. I'm convinced that Angels came down from heaven and made sure I fell through a tree. The tree buffered and slowed my fall so that I didn't hit that ground as hard as I "should have." Apparently, another guest at the hotel saw me falling and called 911. The paramedics arrived and got me to Queens Medical Center, the best trauma hospital in the Pacific at the time. The doctors did amazing work, but didn't think I would make it. They even told my parents on the phone not to fly out right away because it was likely that I would die on the table during surgery. I didn't and my parents and sister flew to Hawaii as fast as they could. I remember being in ICU sometime after and a nurse telling me my family was on their way. Tears came to my eyes. Tears of relief. I think part of me thought that they wouldn't come. I lay in the hospital bed with my broken body grateful my family would come soon, but scared as well.
My struggle back was a difficult one. I had broken 6 ribs. One rib punctured a lung and then the other lung collapsed. I had a minor skull fracture. I broke my upper left arm, shattered my right hip, and broke my pelvis in 4 places. In exploratory surgery to stop internal bleeding the doctors discovered that my stomach lining was torn, I severed a kidney and part of the liver (all repaired) and ended up losing my gall bladder. I had tree limbs and twigs impale me in odd locations that required care. I had tried to kill myself the night before by overdosing on drugs (ibuprofen, prescriptions, anything I could find). All I ended up doing was throwing them up. However, because of all the drugs still in my system, my blood was quite thin and surgeries to repair my bones would need to wait. The surgery was performed 2-3 weeks later and put me back in ICU. I had 2 pulmonary embolisms, developed compartment syndrome (resulting in a fasciotomy to my right calf and right foot), and required a skin graft.
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| At Kessler, with my PT J.R., on 11/19/96. The first time I stood in over 2 months |
One very clear memory I have was a moment in my ICU room at Queens Medical Center. I looked around my room and for the first time truly noticed all the balloons and cards I had received. Tears filled my eyes with a sense of realization that I was well and truly loved. I never "knew" that before. And then another thing hit me like a thunderbolt. God does exist. He saved my life. I knew in that moment, I would never do something like that to myself again. He alone was in control. I did all I could to end my life, but HE stopped it. He decided if it was my time to live or die. In that moment, I found the joy of life.
It took years for me to fully cope with my actions. My ability to walk would never been the same. Almost exactly a year after my attempt, on 9/11/97, I had a total hip replacement because the arthritis took over my right hip. Because of the compartment syndrome, I have nerve damage from my right knee down and drop foot. The physical was easier to deal with in some ways that the emotional. I had to relearn who I was. I was grateful for life! I still am and still thank God daily for letting me live. It took a while though to come to grips with the me before my suicide attempt and the me I had become since and putting them together. I remember once, a few years ago, I was feeling particularly happy and my mom noticed. She commented that I must finally love myself. I said no. That wasn't it because I had loved myself for a while. It was hard to explain at the time. The difference for me was that I finally had fully forgiven myself, those who had hurt me in the past, and figured out who I was.
To this day, I look at the events of that day as a blessing. I was blessed by God's love and kindness to be given life again. Now I appreciate it in way I never did before. Since that day, I am now closer than ever to my family. I married a wonderful man, and we have a beautiful daughter and one on the way. God has blessed me with so much. I am so very thankful. God is good!
**If you struggle with depression or suicidal thoughts, I urge you to get help! Keep letting people you need help before you end up where I did. Contact a suicide hotline, please!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Finger Painting
When I was a kid, I loved painting and drawing. Finger painting, though, was the best. Getting my fingers all goopy with paint and making a masterpiece was so much fun.
Once Ginny was up from her nap we were ready to go. I put Ginny in her high chair ready to make a big mess (i.e., naked baby!!).
Then, I put one color of paint down on the construction paper at a time and let Ginny explore. She did need some help. I needed to show her how to move the paint by example and by holding her hands and moving them over the paint. She seemed to love that part the most. I soon discovered that her favorite color to play with was red.
We finished both projects, and I decided that she needed to do a 3rd project. A project that we could put on the fridge. Since her hands were full of paint (and most of her too), I created 2 sets of hand prints on paper and let her play with some paint for a bit. She got tired of the paint after a while and was more interested in tasting it. Thank goodness the finger paints are non-toxic.
A couple of months ago, I tried to see how Ginny would respond to finger painting. She didn't understand it in the least. It just didn't go well. I figured that developmentally she just wasn't ready.
Today, in the hopes that Ginny would be able to finally enjoy it, we tried finger painting again. This time she seemed to enjoy it. She still doesn't "get it" but she did have fun with the whole endeavor.
While my baby girl was down for a nap, I prepped things for the experience. I figured if we were going to do this, we might as well make it an art project. Basically, I decided it would be a great time to make some art pieces for her grandparents since Grandparent's Day is on Sunday. So, the first thing I did was to line Ginny's high chair tray with newspaper. Then I got 2 pieces of construction paper. Using blue paint tape, I put the word "love" on it. Well, to be more accurate, I put "L....V..E". I couldn't figure out how to put the letter "O" with tape. I figured I could etch in that letter once Ginny was done painting.**
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| One piece of the construction paper with the blue tape set to go. |
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| "What's going on, Mommy?" |
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| Exploring the paint and moving it on the paper. |
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| Having fun playing with the paint in her hands. |
The fun part (sarcasm) was cleaning her up. Boy, was she a mess, but it brought a smile to my face. Once the projects dried a bit, I took off the blue tape. I'm so pleased with the results and hope her grandparents enjoy them as much as she did making them.
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| The finished projects! Two "Loves" for grandparents and one project to hang at home. |
**Please note that this was not an original idea. It was an idea I saw on Pinterest using paint canvas. I did test to make sure the blue tape would work with the construction paper. It did, although not perfectly.
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Prepping for Peanut....Part 2
It has been a busy week in getting ready for Lil' Miss Peanut's arrival. I am now 7 months pregnant. Today, I am 29 weeks pregnant. We only have 10 more weeks to go until she arrives. It amazes me that things are going so fast this time around.
On Wednesday, I went for my 28 week appointment. Part of that appointment was the lovely glucose tolerance test that tests for indications of Gestational Diabetes. If a woman tests above a certain number, they have to go through the 3 hour test to see if they do have GD. Because of my weight and age, I am at an increased risk of developing GD. I prayed hard that the test would come back without indications. My prayers were answered and my numbers were quite normal. Yay! Apparently, even my doctor was thrilled with the news. :) Other than that, we got to hear Peanut's heartbeat again. Peanut is not too fond of the Doppler and loves to kick at it every time. Ginny never did that. She usually ran away from it, making it more of a challenge to find her heartbeat. Already, my daughters are opposites. LOL!
Finally, after working seven shifts in a row, my husband had a day off of work. So, he got busy helping out with the nursery. I know I drive him nuts on this type of stuff, but he luckily understands my need to nest. He rearranged a few more pieces of furniture with my supervision. I didn't like how it looked at first so I had him change things again. Now I am quite pleased with the furniture arrangement. It even allows for room to put a small bookcase in the room. Whew! My DH then went ahead and added the floating shelves after consulting me. I can say that I'm almost in love with the room now. Once we add the new bedding, bed, and shelves I will be head over heals, I'm sure.
Here are the current pictures of the room. If you would like to see the original set up then go to Prepping for Peanut...Part 1.
On Wednesday, I went for my 28 week appointment. Part of that appointment was the lovely glucose tolerance test that tests for indications of Gestational Diabetes. If a woman tests above a certain number, they have to go through the 3 hour test to see if they do have GD. Because of my weight and age, I am at an increased risk of developing GD. I prayed hard that the test would come back without indications. My prayers were answered and my numbers were quite normal. Yay! Apparently, even my doctor was thrilled with the news. :) Other than that, we got to hear Peanut's heartbeat again. Peanut is not too fond of the Doppler and loves to kick at it every time. Ginny never did that. She usually ran away from it, making it more of a challenge to find her heartbeat. Already, my daughters are opposites. LOL!
Finally, after working seven shifts in a row, my husband had a day off of work. So, he got busy helping out with the nursery. I know I drive him nuts on this type of stuff, but he luckily understands my need to nest. He rearranged a few more pieces of furniture with my supervision. I didn't like how it looked at first so I had him change things again. Now I am quite pleased with the furniture arrangement. It even allows for room to put a small bookcase in the room. Whew! My DH then went ahead and added the floating shelves after consulting me. I can say that I'm almost in love with the room now. Once we add the new bedding, bed, and shelves I will be head over heals, I'm sure.
Here are the current pictures of the room. If you would like to see the original set up then go to Prepping for Peanut...Part 1.
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| Picture of of the "whole" room from the door. |
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| Straight on from the door. |
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| The far wall... I have no idea what those "water spots" are. A weird light effect? |
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Plans for the Nursery/Girls' Room
In the couple of months, not only will we have a brand new baby to hold and love, but Ginny will have a new playmate, eventually. A few months after the baby arrives, she will be sharing a room with Ginny (first she will stay in our room).
Part of the reason I like the bedding set below is that it is pink, but without being outrageously pink! Also, the owls are so darn cute!!
I think the quilt for Ginny would blend nicely with the bedding set for Peanut. I hope. LOL! I just with they had an owl toddler set but can't find it. They have it for a twin bedding set, but not toddler. Sigh.
While we do have time until the nursery technically needs to be ready, I am in the nesting mood and want it done now!! As you can see at a previous post of mine: Prepping for Peanut.
Recently I discovered that it should be easy for my husband to move the toy chest (which is very heavy to lift) just by pushing it around. So, once he gets a day off again (he often works 7 days in a row), he will be moving that as well as the changing table/dresser. That will leave us with not much more to do regarding furniture movement for a while.
However, I have been planning, via Pinterest, what to do in terms of decorating the room. Here are a few things that I think will work:
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| Dream on Me toddler sleigh bed for Ginny, found at Babies R Us |
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| Nursery-To-Go Sweet Dreams Owls 10-piece bedding set, Babies R Us. |
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| ABC Toddler quilt for Ginny, Pottery Barn Kids |
Additionally, we would love to add a bookcase, but until we get the toddler bed, we aren't sure how well that will work. The room isn't very large, and we will likely run out of wall space.
Luckily, Chris has the day off at the end of this week, so I will put him to work and update our progress then. :)
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Prepping for Peanut...Part 1
Chris and I had always planned to have our kids share a room for the first few years at least. We do have a third bedroom, but wanted to keep it as an office/guest room. So, now begins the task of getting the nursery set up for both Ginny and her new sister, Lil' Miss Peanut. Since I feel the need to nest, it is only appropriate that we get started on this now. Luckily, I have an accommodating and forgiving husband. :)
Here are some current pictures of the nursery (please excuse the blur):
We need to fit in a toddler bed to this room now. Ginny is currently 16 months old. We plan on having Peanut sleep in our room for the first 4-6 months. By the time the baby goes into the nursery full time, Ginny will be at least 22 months and ready for a toddler bed. Peanut will go into the crib (which will convert to a toddler bed in the future).
The room isn't particularly large, but I figure it can be done. One of the first things we did was remove the book shelf. The plan is to replace the bookshelf with floating shelves and possibly a narrow, small bookcase. I'm getting very excited about moving things around.
Last night I was able convince my lovely husband to move some of the furniture around. Here was the result:
As you can see here, there were no major changes along the wall; however, I plan to move the changing table/dresser against the wall right next to the window. The toy chest, that Ginny's Grandpa Scott made, will be moved to the wall where the changing table currently is. I believe this will be a better fit over all.
Here you can tell that the book case has been removed. We intend to move the table and chairs out of the room (unless we can find a new spot for them) and put the toddler bed there.
The room is just at the beginning stages of change. I'm hoping to put up the floating shelves soon. As the title suggests, this is only part 1. I imagine I will have several more updates on the room in the future.
Here are some current pictures of the nursery (please excuse the blur):
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| "Full" room view |
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| Straight on from the door to window |
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| The far wall |
The room isn't particularly large, but I figure it can be done. One of the first things we did was remove the book shelf. The plan is to replace the bookshelf with floating shelves and possibly a narrow, small bookcase. I'm getting very excited about moving things around.
Last night I was able convince my lovely husband to move some of the furniture around. Here was the result:
 |
| Straight on from the wall |
As you can see here, there were no major changes along the wall; however, I plan to move the changing table/dresser against the wall right next to the window. The toy chest, that Ginny's Grandpa Scott made, will be moved to the wall where the changing table currently is. I believe this will be a better fit over all.
 |
| The far wall |
Here you can tell that the book case has been removed. We intend to move the table and chairs out of the room (unless we can find a new spot for them) and put the toddler bed there.
The room is just at the beginning stages of change. I'm hoping to put up the floating shelves soon. As the title suggests, this is only part 1. I imagine I will have several more updates on the room in the future.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
A Birth Plan?
In just 12 weeks (more or less), I will be delivering Lil' Miss Peanut via a scheduled c-section. I know this as I have known it since I was 24 years old. Ginny was delivered by c-section and so will this new baby. The date of the c-section hasn't been set and will likely not be set for at least another 6 weeks. I do know that my doctor likes to have a scheduled c-section when the patient is 39 weeks. I will be 39 weeks on November 3rd, a Saturday.
One thing I heard a lot about when I was pregnant with Ginny was having a birth plan. Most birth plans apply to those who are having a vaginal birth. It is understanding why women (and their spouses) would want to have a sense of control over the birth of their child. However, how could I have a birth plan? I'm having a c-section after all. I did learn that some women do go into a c-section with a birth plan. It amazed me, especially considering this was a surgical procedure.
My options during the c-section are severely limited due to my prior abdominal surgery in my 20s. For example, some women request dissolvable stitches. I do not have that option. When I heard of that, I asked my doctor about them. However, she didn't feel that they would hold well enough over prior stitches, etc. So, I had to go with staples because they hold things better. Honestly, they weren't that bad and didn't hurt much coming out. I found, through my experience, that I was fine with how my doctor planned the delivery as well as my husband and my role in it. I did NOT want to see the baby delivered. I can't handle seeing that much blood and didn't want to see my belly all opened up. No thank you. I'll pass on that. My DH didn't want to see it either and was happy to pass on cutting the cord to the professionals. He didn't feel like he missed out in any way.
Chris was able to watch as Ginny was measured and weighed. He even had the camera and took pictures so I could see it later. Once Ginny was cleaned up and her eyes treated, Chris held her next to me until they finished up on me. From there, the nurse handed Ginny to me and rolled me to my room.
The hospital we will be having Peanut is the same one where we had Ginny. They are very breastfeeding focused and family-centered. Heck, all their nurses in the birth center are lactation certified. Again, this leaves me with little concerns adding requests to a birth plan. Not only do they make your room the pre-op and recovery room (so no changing rooms, period), they also make sure they get you started breast feeding right away with assistance, once you are in your room again.
So, our birth plan has taken on a different tone. Our birth plan deals with arranging what we want and need to happen before we go to the hospital and when we come home. Of course, I can't make concrete plans until we know when I will deliver our baby girl. However, my parents will be coming up to help out with the new baby and Ginny. They will be here at least the day before I deliver and will stay a few weeks to help out. They are left hanging in limbo right now due to not knowing the date of my c-section. I've told them that I wouldn't be surprised if we had this baby on November 1, based on the fact that my doctor does most surgeries on Thursdays. However, we do not know if that will be the date or not. We are quite grateful that my parents will be coming though. It will be nice knowing that Ginny will be taken care of while I'm giving birth and that Chris can be with me.
Our biggest concern and issue is what happens if I go into labor before the scheduled c-section?? Will I have to go into the c-section alone, without Chris? After all, someone needs to take care of Ginny. The closest family from us are some cousins and aunts and uncles who all live at least 2 hours away. We have no close friends in the area either. We don't know what we'll do if that happens. Chris wants to be with me to see our new baby and to support me; however, without someone close to look after Ginny, I may be forced to give birth alone. All I can do, I suppose, is pray that this baby doesn't decide to come early.
One thing I heard a lot about when I was pregnant with Ginny was having a birth plan. Most birth plans apply to those who are having a vaginal birth. It is understanding why women (and their spouses) would want to have a sense of control over the birth of their child. However, how could I have a birth plan? I'm having a c-section after all. I did learn that some women do go into a c-section with a birth plan. It amazed me, especially considering this was a surgical procedure.
My options during the c-section are severely limited due to my prior abdominal surgery in my 20s. For example, some women request dissolvable stitches. I do not have that option. When I heard of that, I asked my doctor about them. However, she didn't feel that they would hold well enough over prior stitches, etc. So, I had to go with staples because they hold things better. Honestly, they weren't that bad and didn't hurt much coming out. I found, through my experience, that I was fine with how my doctor planned the delivery as well as my husband and my role in it. I did NOT want to see the baby delivered. I can't handle seeing that much blood and didn't want to see my belly all opened up. No thank you. I'll pass on that. My DH didn't want to see it either and was happy to pass on cutting the cord to the professionals. He didn't feel like he missed out in any way.
Chris was able to watch as Ginny was measured and weighed. He even had the camera and took pictures so I could see it later. Once Ginny was cleaned up and her eyes treated, Chris held her next to me until they finished up on me. From there, the nurse handed Ginny to me and rolled me to my room.
The hospital we will be having Peanut is the same one where we had Ginny. They are very breastfeeding focused and family-centered. Heck, all their nurses in the birth center are lactation certified. Again, this leaves me with little concerns adding requests to a birth plan. Not only do they make your room the pre-op and recovery room (so no changing rooms, period), they also make sure they get you started breast feeding right away with assistance, once you are in your room again.
So, our birth plan has taken on a different tone. Our birth plan deals with arranging what we want and need to happen before we go to the hospital and when we come home. Of course, I can't make concrete plans until we know when I will deliver our baby girl. However, my parents will be coming up to help out with the new baby and Ginny. They will be here at least the day before I deliver and will stay a few weeks to help out. They are left hanging in limbo right now due to not knowing the date of my c-section. I've told them that I wouldn't be surprised if we had this baby on November 1, based on the fact that my doctor does most surgeries on Thursdays. However, we do not know if that will be the date or not. We are quite grateful that my parents will be coming though. It will be nice knowing that Ginny will be taken care of while I'm giving birth and that Chris can be with me.
Our biggest concern and issue is what happens if I go into labor before the scheduled c-section?? Will I have to go into the c-section alone, without Chris? After all, someone needs to take care of Ginny. The closest family from us are some cousins and aunts and uncles who all live at least 2 hours away. We have no close friends in the area either. We don't know what we'll do if that happens. Chris wants to be with me to see our new baby and to support me; however, without someone close to look after Ginny, I may be forced to give birth alone. All I can do, I suppose, is pray that this baby doesn't decide to come early.
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Marching on the Beat of My Own Drummer
I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer politically. Since I was 15, it became clear to my family and me that I was liberal and a Democrat. My ideas formed on my own through things I learned in school (and no, my teachers were not teaching political ideology, but my education made me more aware of the world around me), people I interacted with, and the experiences I had. I figured others that I was around must think as I do because they were exposed to many of the same things. It quickly became apparent that my assumption was quite wrong. Many of my high school friends were quite conservative. However, that did not alter my ideas and position.
I remember the 1988 election and staying up for the election results. At that time, I was a senior in high school, but I was unable to vote because I had only just turned 17. I hoped and prayed for a Dukakis win. After he lost, I found myself a bit depressed for a couple of weeks, worrying about how things would turn out. I finally resigned myself to have George H. W. Bush as our president. Since things wouldn't change for at least four years, I would give him a chance and hope for the best. That isn't to say that I liked him and what he did as president, but I also did not hate him from day one of his presidency and start counting down to the next election.
When I got to college, the University of Kansas, I finally found a place I felt at "home." I was around a diverse group of people from all walks of life and ideologies. I didn't agree with everyone, but at the same time I finally found people who liked my thoughts and agreed with what I had to say on politics. It was heaven in that sense.
One thing that always stands out to me are the people who would tell me, when I was younger, that being liberal was a phase. That, I would, at some point, "see the light" and become more conservative and a Democrat. Those people were wrong. I'm still a liberal and a Democrat. The main thing that did change is that I converted to Catholicism 12 years ago. My views have altered a bit as well. The wonderful thing about being an adult is realizing that issues are not a matter of black and white. There are lots of greys and subtle nuances than need to be considered.
In recent years, I have tried to avoid most political discussions. It usually brings up my blood pressure. I will admit to taking many issues quite personally. The reason? Well, there are some issues I don't consider political. I consider them a matter of basic human dignity and rights. Additionally, there are other issues that I don't see as easily solved by legal/political means, but rather need other steps to solve the problems and curtail them.
Unfortunately, I still deal with people today who only see black and white to an issue. I guess that is okay because that is how they think. When I do get into discussions, I try to be respectful with others without resorting to personal attacks, although at times it is tempting to do so.
Recently, I got into a bit of a debate around the issue of childhood vaccination. I won't get into the actual argument on here; I don't think that is important. What I do feel is important is how the argument upset me a great deal, to the point that I have left the group for a "break." Whether or not I come back is something I will consider, most likely, after the Presidential election (I'm trying to avoid stress and the room is full of very conservative women). The argument was a back and forth discussion on whether vaccinations should be given to our children or not. I brought up a couple of points that did not sit well with a few women. It got to be about an attack against me rather than about the points I made. So, instead of losing my cool, I decided to step away and leave the group. I don't mind others disagreeing with me, but personal attacks do not sit well with me. After I left the group, I have found out that these women accused me of being something I wasn't. Because I disagreed with them on a detail by seeing the grey areas, I was suddenly tagged as being someone I'm not.
I am hurt by this and angered.
It becomes tempting to go back in and defend myself, but I don't see the point. What I wonder is why do people feel it necessary to get personal when the discussion has no need to go there? Is this what is happening in our country more and more? If you disagree with them, you start to bully them? I must admit, being liberal and a Dem, I'm used to this line of attack from others. I have faced it most of my life now. It won't change my mind though. Luckily, I married a man (a conservative Republican) who accepts me as I am whether he agrees or not. I wish others could treat me with the same respect he does and some other close friends of mine.
Despite all of this, though, I'm proud of the woman and person that I am today. I'm glad that I walk to the beat of my own drummer.
I remember the 1988 election and staying up for the election results. At that time, I was a senior in high school, but I was unable to vote because I had only just turned 17. I hoped and prayed for a Dukakis win. After he lost, I found myself a bit depressed for a couple of weeks, worrying about how things would turn out. I finally resigned myself to have George H. W. Bush as our president. Since things wouldn't change for at least four years, I would give him a chance and hope for the best. That isn't to say that I liked him and what he did as president, but I also did not hate him from day one of his presidency and start counting down to the next election.
When I got to college, the University of Kansas, I finally found a place I felt at "home." I was around a diverse group of people from all walks of life and ideologies. I didn't agree with everyone, but at the same time I finally found people who liked my thoughts and agreed with what I had to say on politics. It was heaven in that sense.
One thing that always stands out to me are the people who would tell me, when I was younger, that being liberal was a phase. That, I would, at some point, "see the light" and become more conservative and a Democrat. Those people were wrong. I'm still a liberal and a Democrat. The main thing that did change is that I converted to Catholicism 12 years ago. My views have altered a bit as well. The wonderful thing about being an adult is realizing that issues are not a matter of black and white. There are lots of greys and subtle nuances than need to be considered.
In recent years, I have tried to avoid most political discussions. It usually brings up my blood pressure. I will admit to taking many issues quite personally. The reason? Well, there are some issues I don't consider political. I consider them a matter of basic human dignity and rights. Additionally, there are other issues that I don't see as easily solved by legal/political means, but rather need other steps to solve the problems and curtail them.
Unfortunately, I still deal with people today who only see black and white to an issue. I guess that is okay because that is how they think. When I do get into discussions, I try to be respectful with others without resorting to personal attacks, although at times it is tempting to do so.
Recently, I got into a bit of a debate around the issue of childhood vaccination. I won't get into the actual argument on here; I don't think that is important. What I do feel is important is how the argument upset me a great deal, to the point that I have left the group for a "break." Whether or not I come back is something I will consider, most likely, after the Presidential election (I'm trying to avoid stress and the room is full of very conservative women). The argument was a back and forth discussion on whether vaccinations should be given to our children or not. I brought up a couple of points that did not sit well with a few women. It got to be about an attack against me rather than about the points I made. So, instead of losing my cool, I decided to step away and leave the group. I don't mind others disagreeing with me, but personal attacks do not sit well with me. After I left the group, I have found out that these women accused me of being something I wasn't. Because I disagreed with them on a detail by seeing the grey areas, I was suddenly tagged as being someone I'm not.
I am hurt by this and angered.
It becomes tempting to go back in and defend myself, but I don't see the point. What I wonder is why do people feel it necessary to get personal when the discussion has no need to go there? Is this what is happening in our country more and more? If you disagree with them, you start to bully them? I must admit, being liberal and a Dem, I'm used to this line of attack from others. I have faced it most of my life now. It won't change my mind though. Luckily, I married a man (a conservative Republican) who accepts me as I am whether he agrees or not. I wish others could treat me with the same respect he does and some other close friends of mine.
Despite all of this, though, I'm proud of the woman and person that I am today. I'm glad that I walk to the beat of my own drummer.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Chicken Parmigiana with Pasta
One of the things I like to do is cook. I would love it, but unfortunately I hate cleaning up. Since cooking means I will make a mess, it also means I'll have a mess to clean up. So, I merely like it. :) I've decided to start adding some of the things that I like cooking to my blog. This blog is not becoming a cooking blog, but rather an addition to what I normally blog about. I figure it fits in with the blog since I am a stay-at-home mom and this is one of the things I do.
The types of recipes I like most are simple, quick, and tasty. One of the things that fits this bill perfectly is my Chicken Parmigiana. It is super easy to make and delicious! You can also personalize it with your own preferences. I learned the recipe from my parents, but have since changed it, a bit, to suit myself.
First off, you may want to gather the ingredients you will need for this: spaghetti sauce, Italian bread crumbs, egg, boneless, skinless chicken breast, mozzarella cheese, and your choice of pasta.
Once you have all of that together, it is easy to begin. The recipe is easy to adapt for the number of chicken breasts you will be cooking. The original recipe was made for 4 chicken breasts, but I have made it for as few as 1 to as many as 6 in recent years.
The next thing I do is pull out some wax paper, and lay my chicken breasts on one half of the paper (parchment would work as well). I then put the other half of the paper on top of the chicken breasts and get ready to vent my frustrations out for the day with the meat pounder. I personally think that pounding the breasts thin makes a difference in flavor. With the size chicken breasts they sell in the store, having a thinner breasts gets the flavors going through the chicken that much more.
Once the chicken is browned on both sides, about 2-3 minutes per side, then add your spaghetti sauce. How much you add depends on how much sauce you like to have and how much chicken you are using. I personally love a lot of sauce on my pasta. For the 3 chicken breasts here, I used about a jar and a half of sauce. After you put the sauce on the chicken, cover the pan and let it simmer for 15 minutes.
Note: This is where you can really personalize the recipe. I love Arriabiata for this recipe! It has a lot of kick! However, I'm pregnant right now and can't tolerate spicy foods so I use a much milder sauce. I've also been known to add a few herbs or even a pinch of cayenne pepper.
While your chicken is cooking, you should start boiling your water for your pasta. I will use either spaghetti or penne. I tend to choose penne right now because I have a 15-month-old, and I find it easier for her to grab hold of penne than spaghetti. Either option works great! (I also highly recommend whole wheat pasta. It has a lot more flavor than your regular stuff.)
When the 15 minutes have passed, you will add mozzarella cheese on top of the chicken. I adore cheese so I add quite a bit (about a cup or so). Put the lid back on the chicken and let the cheese melt. It only takes about 3-5 minutes to get just right. While it is melting, it should be about time for you to drain your pasta. Then, you can serve your food! Yummy!
I hope you enjoy this! I know I do! One additional note I will make, my sister, when rushed with her two kids, will cook this with pre-breaded and cooked frozen chicken patties (or even veal). It saves a couple of steps and goes faster.
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| My chicken parmigiana |
The types of recipes I like most are simple, quick, and tasty. One of the things that fits this bill perfectly is my Chicken Parmigiana. It is super easy to make and delicious! You can also personalize it with your own preferences. I learned the recipe from my parents, but have since changed it, a bit, to suit myself.
Once you have all of that together, it is easy to begin. The recipe is easy to adapt for the number of chicken breasts you will be cooking. The original recipe was made for 4 chicken breasts, but I have made it for as few as 1 to as many as 6 in recent years.
The next thing I do is pull out some wax paper, and lay my chicken breasts on one half of the paper (parchment would work as well). I then put the other half of the paper on top of the chicken breasts and get ready to vent my frustrations out for the day with the meat pounder. I personally think that pounding the breasts thin makes a difference in flavor. With the size chicken breasts they sell in the store, having a thinner breasts gets the flavors going through the chicken that much more.
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| Before I pound them. They are ready to go. |
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| Freshly pounded chicken! See how flat and thin they are in comparison. |
The next step is to get them breaded and ready to brown in a large frying pan. First, you will want to beat one egg, slightly, and prep about 1/2 a cup of Italian bread crumbs to dredge the chicken in. Once that is prepped,. put about 2 Tbsp. of olive oil in the pan and let the pan and oil start heating up. Then, take each chicken breast, coat it in the egg (on both sides) and roll the breast in the bread crumbs so it is nicely covered. After doing that, place it in your hot pan and let it start browning.
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| Egg and bread crumb coating. |
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| Chicken browning in the hot olive oil. |
Note: This is where you can really personalize the recipe. I love Arriabiata for this recipe! It has a lot of kick! However, I'm pregnant right now and can't tolerate spicy foods so I use a much milder sauce. I've also been known to add a few herbs or even a pinch of cayenne pepper.
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| Sauced and ready to simmer for 15 minutes. |
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| The water is getting ready to boil so I can add the penne. |
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| Doesn't that cheese on there make it look extra delicious? |
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| The finished dish! |
Chicken Parmigiana
1 egg, slightly beaten
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 Tbsp Olive Oil (butter or other oil works too)
1/2 cup Italian bread crumbs
1-2 jars spaghetti sauce
1 cup shredded mozzarella
Using a meat pounder, flatten the chicken breasts between sheets of wax paper. Heat up 2 Tbsp of oil in frying pan. Dip each chicken breast in the slightly beaten egg then roll in bread crumbs. Brown chicken in oil, about 2-3 minutes per side. Pour spaghetti sauce over the breasts, cover and simmer for 15 minutes. Once that is done, sprinkle the mozzarella over the top of the chicken. Cover breasts and simmer until cheese is melted.
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