Marching on the Beat of My Own Drummer

I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer politically.  Since I was 15, it became clear to my family and me that I was liberal and a Democrat.  My ideas formed on my own through things I learned in school (and no, my teachers were not teaching political ideology, but my education made me more aware of the world around me), people I interacted with, and the experiences I had.  I figured others that I was around must think as I do because they were exposed to many of the same things. It quickly became apparent that my assumption was quite wrong. Many of my high school friends were quite conservative. However, that did not alter my ideas and position.

I remember the 1988 election and staying up for the election results. At that time, I was a senior in high school, but I was unable to vote because I had only just turned 17.  I hoped and prayed for a Dukakis win.  After he lost, I found myself a bit depressed for a couple of weeks, worrying about how things would turn out.  I finally resigned myself to have George H. W. Bush as our president.  Since things wouldn't change for at least four years, I would give him a chance and hope for the best.  That isn't to say that I liked him and what he did as president, but I also did not hate him from day one of his presidency and start counting down to the next election.

When I got to college, the University of Kansas, I finally found a place I felt at "home." I was around a diverse group of people from all walks of life and ideologies.  I didn't agree with everyone, but at the same time I finally found people who liked my thoughts and agreed with what I had to say on politics. It was heaven in that sense.

One thing that always stands out to me are the people who would tell me, when I was younger, that being liberal was a phase. That, I would, at some point, "see the light" and become more conservative and a Democrat.  Those people were wrong.  I'm still a liberal and a Democrat. The main thing that did change is that I converted to Catholicism 12 years ago.  My views have altered a bit as well. The wonderful thing about being an adult is realizing that issues are not a matter of black and white. There are lots of greys and subtle nuances than need to be considered.

In recent years, I have tried to avoid most political discussions. It usually brings up my blood pressure. I will admit to taking many issues quite personally.  The reason? Well, there are some issues I don't consider political. I consider them a matter of basic human dignity and rights.  Additionally, there are other issues that I don't see as easily solved by legal/political means, but rather need other steps to solve the problems and curtail them.

Unfortunately, I still deal with people today who only see black and white to an issue. I guess that is okay because that is how they think. When I do get into discussions, I try to be respectful with others without resorting to personal attacks, although at times it is tempting to do so.

Recently, I got into a bit of a debate around the issue of childhood vaccination. I won't get into the actual argument on here; I don't think that is important.  What I do feel is important is how the argument upset me a great deal, to the point that I have left the group for a "break." Whether or not I come back is something I will consider, most likely, after the Presidential election (I'm trying to avoid stress and the room is full of very conservative women).  The argument was a back and forth discussion on whether vaccinations should be given to our children or not.  I brought up a couple of points that did not sit well with a few women. It got to be about an attack against me rather than about the points I made. So, instead of losing my cool, I decided to step away and leave the group. I don't mind others disagreeing with me, but personal attacks do not sit well with me.  After I left the group, I have found out that these women accused me of being something I wasn't. Because I disagreed with them on a detail by seeing the grey areas, I was suddenly tagged as being someone I'm not.

I am hurt by this and angered.

It becomes tempting to go back in and defend myself, but I don't see the point. What I wonder is why do people feel it necessary to get personal when the discussion has no need to go there? Is this what is happening in our country more and more? If you disagree with them, you start to bully them? I must admit, being liberal and a Dem, I'm used to this line of attack from others. I have faced it most of my life now. It won't change my mind though. Luckily, I married a man (a conservative Republican) who accepts me as I am whether he agrees or not.  I wish others could treat me with the same respect he does and some other close friends of mine.

Despite all of this, though, I'm proud of the woman and person that I am today. I'm glad that I walk to the beat of my own drummer.