9 months

Well, I am officially 9 months pregnant now.  I'm 36 weeks and a couple days although my uterus is measuring at 37 weeks.  It is hard to believe!  Reality is truly beginning to hit now.

I had an appointment with my doctor on Wednesday.  Now I will be seeing Dr. Quinn once a week.  I only have 2 appointments left to go--next week and the following week.  Unreal.

The appt. went quite well.  It started with an ultrasound.  We were able to see the baby (who is positioned properly with his/her head down) and hear the strong heartbeat (160 bpm).  The baby looked fabulous and measured in the 85th percentile at 6 lbs 12 oz.  The ultrasound tech reminded us that the weight could be 1 pound off in either direction.  And, at this point the baby is growing 1/2 pound a week.  So, with 3 weeks to go....we'll have a healthy size baby. Anywhere from 7 1/2 lbs to 9 1/2 pounds.  I'm hoping for the lower end of that. ;)

While getting the ultrasound the baby kept moving around, even opening and closing his/her mouth.  I loved it!   Several pictures were taken (they are posted at the end of this post).  One even showed us some hair.  When I asked if that was the normal amount, the sonographer indicated that they usually only see a few wisps and it is quite possible that our baby will have a headful of hair when born.  Wow!

After the ultrasound, we saw the doctor.  We did the basics (measuring the uterus and Doppler), plus a group B strep culture.  She also checked the cervix.  It seems I am between 30-50% effaced and 1 cm dilated.  I did notice this morning that my mucus plug seems to be coming out (lovely discharge).    That means I'm probably getting more effaced.  Also, when I walk, I feel like the baby might "fall out."  I know that isn't possible, but it is a funky feeling.  Anyhow, I guess that means the baby could come any time, from now until the scheduled c-section on April 14.

The last thing we discussed with the doctor was the c-section a bit more in depth than we had in the past.  In my 20s, I had major trauma and internal bleeding which required exploratory surgery.  So....I have a long scar going down my belly already.  I joked for years that I would love to get the "normal" c-section cut (horizontal) so I could have an anchor on my belly.  The doctor told me that she won't be doing that.  She will need to cut along the scar tissue.  The main issue is that if she makes a brand new cut (the normal cut for c-sections), it could further weaken the area of my abs and even make it more likely that I would develop complications (like a hernia).  I did ask if I could have regular stitches instead of staples.  Dr. Quinn said no.  She did say that had this been my first abdominal surgery she probably would have done stitches, but since I've got the scar, they will need to do staples to best put things back together, essentially.  Oh well.  I tried. ;)  

Our next appointment is this coming Wednesday.  It should be a quickie appointment where she addresses any concerns, does the Doppler, and measures me.  Nothing too exciting, really.  The only excitement now is the knowledge that I will meet my baby very soon!  I can't wait to hold and love on our baby! :-)

Baby G waving to everyone!  Loving those fingers!

A blurry profile shot...Baby G kept opening and closing his/her mouth!

Face---I love that chipmunk cheek!

Lots of hair, it looks like.

So Surreal

Even though I am only 23 days from giving birth to Baby G, it doesn't feel real yet. In fact, the idea of being a mom feels completely surreal.  Maybe it is because I have wanted to be a mom for so long (the last 19 years).  Or, maybe it is because I had 3 losses and I'm still partly afraid something will go wrong.  And, maybe it is because it is hard to imagine life with a baby that I can't quite picture in my mind yet (since I don't know what he or she will look like until April 14).  I'm not sure what is causing this surreal feeling.

What I do know is that I've been pregnant for what seems like forever.  9 months is really a long time.  I've gone through everything with being pregnant.  I've had loads of morning sickness---that finally seems to be going away completely (yay!).  I've had spotting.   I started feeling the baby move in small bits around 15 weeks, and now I feel bigger movements that sometimes wake me (it seems Baby G is trying to find his/her way out by force. LOL!).  The lovely "mask of pregnancy" adorns my neck, especially the right side of it.  I've had acid reflux.  That is a lot of fun....I love waking up because I just threw up in my mouth.  I can't go to sleep again then until I eat some Tums and things settle down.  Oh, and drool.  I read early on that I would likely have more saliva.  I had no idea how much.  Wow!

Then there are the obvious things like seeing your baby on ultrasounds and hearing the heartbeat on Dopplers or on a fetal monitor for 3 hours.  So, I do know that there is a baby that is arriving, but I can't seem to shake the feeling that it won't feel real until I have the baby in my arms. I still continue to hope and pray that our baby will be born healthy and strong.   I want to hold and love on my baby so badly.  3 weeks seems so close yet so far away.  I can't wait! :-)

Plus Size Pregnancy

I am a plus size pregnant momma-to-be.  I'm not necessarily proud of that fact.  I wish I had started off thinner and had never gained the weight I did in the first place; however, it is a fact of my life....for now at least.

There are some challenges to being a plus size pregnant woman.  Namely--clothing.  Here, in the Springfield, IL area, there is only one store with one rack of plus size maternity wear--Sears.  Yuck!  I've never been a fan of Sears' clothing (despite their ads, etc....it always seems to be mainly polyester) and their maternity selection for a plus size woman is the worst.  Finding a store to actually carry plus size maternity wear inside their store and not just on the website is REALLY difficult.  It is quite ridiculous actually.  And many stores that may carry plus size clothing in general, do not offer plus size maternity wear.

I take one of two messages from this.  Either, (1) Plus size women aren't attractive enough to hope for sex much less hope to get pregnant, or (2) plus size women don't require maternity clothes since what they have is big enough already.  It really irritates the bejesus out of me!  Honest to goodness.  I wish I had some gumption (and business talent/designing abilities) because I think I could make a mint designing and selling plus-size maternity wear.  There are many plus size women out there like me who would like fashionable clothes in the first place and to have some fashionable maternity wear.  But, unfortunately, it is hard to find.

I got some of my maternity wear (at the store even) at Motherhood Maternity in a different town and later online.  I got some basics (like long sleeve Ts and turtlenecks that were cheaper than Motherhood) from JcPenney online.  I have seen all sorts of cute clothes, but none came in my size so I've had to make do with the selection I have---which is very limited.

A new issue I have run into is finding a nursing bra to fit me now.  This goes to being plus size, but also I know there are some women who aren't plus size who have issues with this as well.  While I've been pregnant, I've been able to get regular bras at Lane Bryant since they do carry my size (and larger).  However, a maternity bra was out of the question because even Motherhood didn't carry my size.

Now, I need a couple of nursing bras to get me started once the baby comes in 6 weeks.  I'll be quite honest about my size....I believe I will need a 40G or possibly 40H (I'm currently in 40DDD, but that is actually at least a size too small).  I've tried online looking at JcPenney.  Not even they carry my size.  They stop at DDD (E).  I've even tried Motherhood, and nada..... I recently went to a breastfeeding class held at the hospital and the instructor told those of us who were large busted to come up and talk to her at a break.  She had 2 stores that we could use.  Of course, the closest store is 1 1/2 hours away.  The next closest is an hour and 45 minutes away.  Apparently, anyone carrying large size nursing bras is hard to find.  I felt especially bad for a woman who said she started the pregnancy as a 38H.  I can only imagine how hard it is for her now, knowing how hard it is for me.

I wonder what stores are thinking when they don't sell clothing for plus size pregnant women, much less having a variety of larger bra cups available to women.  Do they really think that the only women to get pregnant are skinny minnies?  Really?  Or that a plus size pregnant woman is satisified with staying in plus size clothing?  I wasn't.  It was cheaper for me clothing wise to get maternity pants and shirts that have allowed my body to grow without having to buy bigger sizes the whole way through.  As for bras, do they really believe that women never get larger than a DD or DDD when pregnant?  Do the designers really operate this way too?  It really annoys me to no end.

Anyhow, my lovely husband will drive with me an hour and a half away in a couple days so we can see if I can find a bra.  Hopefully, it won't cost a mint, but I doubt it.  Apparently finding something my size is rare so therefore will likely cost a lot.  Lovely.

3rd Time the Charm??

Tuesday was happy day for me. Shocking in some ways. I had taken a Dollar Tree HPT the day before and got a BFN (big fat negative). I took another that morning. And yes, I got yet another BFN. Later in the day I decided to look up on the internet how much hcG (the pregnancy hormone) was needed to give a positive on one of those Dollar Tree tests. In my search, I ran across a gal's website where she mentioned doing an experiment on the effectiveness on those tests and that of the First Response (FRER) tests. It turns out FRERs are more effective.

Anyhow, after I saw that article, I went grocery shopping. On my way home, I stopped at Wal-Mart (because their prices are better than Schnuck's) and picked up a 3-pack of FRERs. I figured in the morning I would take another HPT. Later that same day, as I was cleaning the master bath I realized I needed to use the facilities. Before I went, I decided, what the heck, I'll take the FRER HPT for the fun of it. (Yes, I am addicted to peeing on a stick [POAS]). So, I did.
I took the test with me into the bedroom and laid it on my nightstand as I patiently waited until it was 3:00 p.m. At 3, I took a look....

A BFP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It said I was pregnant!

Since Chris and I got married in July, we had 2 pregnancies....one, a honeymoon baby that I lost at 4 wks 3 days. The other in October that I lost at 4 wks 1 day. Two chemical pregnancies (CPs). I was excited and happy and shocked, especially since I was only 11 dpo (days past ovulation). I ended up calling the doctor's office to arrange for some bloodwork to check my hcG levels and my progesterone (I'm on suppositories because with the 2nd pregnancy it was discovered I have low progesterone). I dealt with an exceptionally rude nurse. Grrr....

When Chris got home, I couldn't hold back and I told him the good news. You could tell he was happy, but also not certain because of all we have gone through in the past.

The next day, 12 dpo [dpo=days past ovulation], I got a call back from a nice nurse, Michelle, who told me that Dr. Quin (my ob/gyn) wanted me to get bloodwork. Yay! On Thursday, Michelle called to tell me my numbers....

hcg (12 dpo)=112
progesterone=14.96

Good numbers!

I went back on Friday (14 dpo) for my 2nd set of b/w. The results weren't in yet before the weekend. So, I am now patiently (or not so patiently) awaiting those results that I won't get until Monday.

Everything seems to be going well so far. My boobs hurt and feel like laying on rocks at times. I'm exhausted MOST of the time. I also have light cramping. Oh, and I'm constantly worried I might lose this baby. I keep praying to God that the 3rd time is the charm. I hope it is! I pray it is! I think I may feel a bit better once I get my 2nd set of numbers. I know I'll feel better once I see the baby in an u/s (ultrasound).