Authenticity

Who are you? Are you the same person in forums, on Facebook, Twitter, or dating sites that you are in real life? Who are you really? Do you portray yourself differently online, thus creating a separate identity, or do you stay true to yourself?

For the last several years, I have spent a lot of time on various websites interacting with people across the country and around the world.  One thing I always attempt to do is remain true to myself. I see myself as an open book in most respects.  I don't hide who I am. I put it out there. I act as I do in real life. Additionally, I treat others as I would in real life. If I am calling someone out online, it is likely that I would do the same in real life if the same circumstances presented themselves. Basically, I try to live and act authentically in all my interactions with people, whether they be in person, on the phone, or even online.

Now, I will say that with different situations and people you will likely see a different side of me.  With my husband, I feel the most free to express myself fully and completely because I know he won't judge me. He knows me, my intent, and what I mean.  I know that even if we disagree, he will still love me.

On Facebook, while I will put my views out there on some issues, I often keep some thoughts to myself because I don't want to argue with others. Many of my Facebook friends are extremely conservative. I, on the other hand, am liberal. No longer am I interested in getting in heated arguments with people. All those arguments result in is a stressed out me, and the arguments make me question why I'm friends with some people.

When I get on Twitter, I feel the most free to be me in an online community. It really is the most authentic I can be online because there I do not worry about offending others. While I try to be respectful, in general, I feel I can really express myself without being concerned about arguing with others or being judged for my views.

I realize that we all are this way, showing one side of our personalities given the environment we are in at the time. Again, what I do try to do, no matter what scenario I am in, is remain true to who I am. My goal is to be authentic, to be me.  I make mistakes and need to apologize for them. No one is perfect, but I believe it is important to be the same person in real life as you are online.

Unfortunately, I have found that others do not share this same attitude. Some people seem to feel the need to be irreverent to others that disagree with them or are different than them. They can be mean-spirited, bullies, and/or judgmental online.  What confuses me most is when you have met one of these people and in person they seem different than their online persona. These online bullies can often seem to be the nicest people in real life. I wonder how they can reconcile their rude behaviors online with how they act every day. Do they not see the difference? Or are they not being authentic in real life? Is that online personality more true to themselves than in real situations, but they are better at hiding it? Why do people feel justified in treating others with disrespect in this manner? What does it serve?

If your online behavior is selfish, rude, irreverent, disrespectful toward others or even me, bullying, or overly judgmental, I will likely want to have very little to do with you in real life no matter how nice you seem. Personally, I prefer dealing with people who are authentic, to themselves and others. I wish others felt the same.