Virginia Sophia Wiles Davis: An Outstanding Woman, A Fabulous Role-Model, and My Grandmother

When Chris and I were busy narrowing down names, there was one name I was clear on wanting for our child if it would be a girl--Virginia Sophia.  Chris wasn't sure and would not say "Sure, honey, if it is a girl, we will name her Virginia."  In some ways, I can't say as I blame him because it would mean actually naming the baby after someone and a someone he had never met.  However, when we were in the delivery room, soon after "meeting" our daughter for the first time, I asked Chris if he knew the name he wanted to give her.  He told me that we could go ahead and name her Virginia, or Ginny for short.  My heart sang.  I was beyond thrilled that I would be able to name our daughter after a woman who I admired and loved very much, my maternal grandmother.

My Grandma Davis was not an ordinary woman, although she would likely disagree with me if she were alive today.  She was an amazing, faith-filled, family-centered woman.  She loved God and her family beyond all else. Grandma was also a very strong woman.

My Grandma, Virginia Sophia Wiles Davis, June 1940

Virginia Sophia Wiles was born in 1922, an only child to Verne Franklin and his wife, my great-grandmother, Mary Elizabeth (Hazel) Haberstroh.  Grandma grew up in a middle-class (to upper middle class) family in the city of St. Louis.  In 1940, she married my Grandfather, Glen Franklin Davis.  Grandpa Davis was about as opposite as you can imagine in his background from my Grandma.  He was raised near Steelville, Missouri, a small town about 2 hours southwest of St. Louis, with 10 siblings.  His father was a farmer and life was tough.

My grandparents loved each other for the 56, nearly 57, years they were together.  They had 7 children, 4 boys and 3 girls.  My grandmother loved her large family!  However, it was not an easy life for either of them.  Grandpa Davis had health difficulties while they were raising their family. Money was definitely tight, especially when there came a time that Grandpa's health made it impossible for him to work.  So, my grandmother went to work as a social worker.  I'm sure that could not have been easy, particularly in the 60s. Despite that, family always came first.  That is something that carries on with each of her children--a love and desire to be connected as a whole family.

There seems to be one characteristic that each female in the family has inherited, in some form, from my grandmother.  We are all pretty darn direct.  My grandma would tell you as she saw it.  She didn't mince words.  Her daughters are like that, each in their own way.  Her granddaughters tend to carry on that tradition as well (granted, there are only 4 of us).  It has yet to be seen if her great-granddaughters will be that way too.

One more thing....Grandma loved God.  She was a God-fearing, God-loving, Southern Baptist woman of strong faith.  I imagine that helped her and my grandpa get through the tough times.  I'm sure it helped bring great joy during the good times too.

Grandma Virginia Davis & Grandpa when they renewed
their vows after 50 years of marriage in October 1990!

My Ginny was named after an amazing woman who was loved and adored by her family and those who knew her.  My hope is that my Ginny is a woman quite like her great-grandmother someday.

It is hard to fully put into words what my grandmother meant to me.  I still remember when she died, and how I felt like my world was forever changed somehow. I was not ready to lose her.  However, I'm sure she is smiling down from heaven watching over all of us still.

I love you, Grandma, and I miss you!

Family visits

I have moved about 24 times in my life thus far.  In my first 10 years of life, I moved 7 times.  My dad was active duty in the U.S. Air Force.  For our family, visits to and from family was quite rare--maybe once a year when we were actually stateside.  However, for nearly 6 of those 10 years we lived in Germany.  We did have family visit us a few times, but not repeated trips and nor once a year, for understandable reasons.

My dad went from active duty to the National Guard for a variety of reasons when I was 10.  We moved to the St. Louis area, where my mom's family lived.  It also was a 6 hour drive from my dad's parents who lived in Arkansas.  Obviously, we saw my mom's family ALL the time.  We did not see my Grandma and Grandpa Scott quite as often though--maybe 2-3 times a year.  In fact, my parents split the holidays and kept it consistent.  We saw Dad's parents on Thanksgiving, and spent Christmas with my mom's family.  It always seemed normal (oh, and we never did a separate Christmas celebration with my Dad's family).  As kids, I don't think I felt any differently about either sets of grandparents or cousins.  I loved them both equally! I also noticed that my parents loved both and enjoyed the time with whoever they spent time with.

What was nice, though, was that despite seeing one set of grandparents less frequently, there was no guilt placed on my parents or comparisons on the amount of time spent with one or another.  My grandparents understood the circumstances and knew that their kids and grandkids loved them and wouldn't forget them, ever.

Now, that I'm an adult, I still love and appreciate family visits!  Currently, my DH and I live in Illinois.  His parents live 5-6 hours away in Iowa, whereas my parents live 16 hours away in Florida.  For understandable reasons, we visit my parents a LOT less often than my in-laws.  In fact, we only go to Florida to visit my parents, sister and her family, once a calendar year.  That's it.  We go out to see my in-laws at least 4-5 times a year, typically.  So, since we've been married (2009), I've only gone out to Florida twice...once at Christmas in 2009 and last September/October (2010).  The hardest part of the distance for me is that I really miss my niece and nephew like crazy.  I spent a lot of time with them until I moved up here when my niece was 3 1/2 and my nephew 2.  It is wonderful, though, that I do get to spend time with my niece and nephew by marriage.  I love those two kids as well.

What has been nice, since I've been up here, is that my parents come to visit.  This is the first time in my adult years that my parents have come to visit regularly--more than once a year.  When I lived in Illinois the first time (from 98-00), my parents came up to St. Louis once for a visit and another time for my grandfather's funeral, but never made it up to Quincy.  Then, I lived in Murfreesboro, TN.  In my 2 years there, they only visited once.  It wasn't because they didn't want to, but at the time they were still working full-time and their schedule didn't allow for more frequent visits.  Back then, I would visit my parents twice a year. Now, I get to see my parents about 4-5 times a year between visits to us and our annual trek to Florida.

I love my family.  I enjoy family visits!  I always have!  I hope our Ginny enjoys them as well and the time she gets to spend with all her cousins, grandparents, and aunts and uncles.

Right now, we are anticipating a family visit.  My parents drove up from Florida with my niece Kendall and nephew Carson.  They spent a couple of days in St. Louis (Ginny & I joined them for one of those days) and now they will spend a couple of days with us!  I can't wait!  While I love my folks, I am most excited about spending time with Kendall and Carson!  Yipee!!