15 Weeks 1 Day

Wow! I can't believe I made it this far! After 3 losses, I'm still a bit more nervous than I think most pregnant moms without losses would be though. I really believed that after that last ultrasound I would totally relax. I was wrong. Instead, I find myself still in constant prayer--speaking to God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, St. Gerard, and my patron saint, Saint Catherine of Siena, asking for this baby to continue to be strong and healthy so it can be born to Chris and I in April. In the future, I suppose I can use this worry to my advantage when I can guilt my child by telling them I've worried about them since before they were born. LOL! I know this is only the beginning and the worrying won't cease until I do (which hopefully won't be until I'm at least 90.)

Part of what makes me worry, I suppose, is that fact that I'm still in an in-between phase of pregnancy. My baby bump is slowly growing everyday, but not to the point where others can tell quite yet. After all, I still can wear the clothes I was wearing before I was pregnant (for the most part, some of the shirts are too tight across the bust now so....). I'm also at a place where I can't feel the baby moving yet. That can start to happen anytime, but I've heard that since I'm a plus size girl (or as my cousin calls it, and I love, a "fluffy" girl), I might not feel this baby until I'm closer to 20 weeks. I did have an awesome dream this week where I saw my baby as it would look now. The hand was pushing against my belly to the point I could make out it was a hand and the baby's face was pressed as well so I could tell some details of the face. While I know this dream was unrealistic, I found it a bit reassuring. It was like Baby G was saying hello to me in my dream!

One thing I am ready to come to an end is morning sickness. There are days, even weeks, where I begin to believe that it is easing up. Days where I still get sick in the morning but the all-day nausea is gone. I can handle getting sick in the morning. It is part of my daily routine now. (Sad, huh? LOL!) But then, just when I think it is over, I eat dinner and then lose it soon after. The next day I end up with the all-day nausea again and barely eat (although I try). That part, I'm done with. In the last 2 days, though, I have only had dry heaves in the morning and no more nausea the rest of the day (although last night I had some before going to sleep).

Part of my concern about the morning sickness, at this point, is the fact that I've been losing weight since being pregnant. Who knew that being pregnant would be a great diet plan? I sure didn't mean for it to be. Honestly. Because I am a "fluffy" girl, my doctor told me that I should only gain 15-20 pounds during this pregnancy. At that first appointment, I was already down 5 pounds. Since then, I've dropped another 7 pounds which puts me at 12 pounds lost. My goal was to maintain my weight for a while, until around 20 weeks, because I know most women really gain weight in that 3rd trimester. Losing was never my plan. Once this morning sickness goes away in full (hopefully) I imagine that I'll be able to gain back the weight I lost. I really shouldn't be losing any more weight. We shall see if my current reprieve will last. Unfortunately, I'm not counting on it. Just enjoying it for now.

Hello 2nd Trimester!!

Well, it is official! I made it through the first trimester and am now into the 2nd! We saw the doctor this morning and had an u/s. The baby was beautiful and was even waving at us!! Too cute!! Even more positive than that, it had an amazing strong heartbeat at 166 and is now measuring ahead. Based on the last u/s, it should have measured at 12 weeks 6 days today, but....it measured at 13 weeks 2 days instead!! Yay! We go back in 4 weeks for our next appointment.


I can't wait to meet this little one! I'm not as nervous now as I have been. A lot more hopeful since now the miscarriage risk has dropped to 1%. I'll keep storming heaven with prayers though!

It's Alive!!

On Monday, September 13, Chris and I went in for the first u/s and doctor's appt.

Before this, I was not nervous and felt confident (although I wondered if I was deluded) about the status of this baby and pregnancy. However, about 2 days before hand, I found myself getting increasingly nervous! I realized it was because I was flashing back to the last time I had an u/s and the loss of that baby.

At the doc's office, I started to feel better because of stupid little things. The woman who checked me in was different than the time before. Even the u/s tech was different. For some reason, I felt these were likely good signs. It is crazy what your mind does to you!

The best part was the u/s itself. The baby was a good size. And after a while, I could even see the flicker of it's heart! Oh my goodness! I started to cry with joy!

According to my LMP (last menstrual period) I was supposed to be 8 weeks 6 days when we went for the u/s. However, I was pretty sure (since I chart) that I ovulated on CD 18 (4 days later than normal) so I would have been happy if the baby measured at 8 weeks 2 days, and actually expected that to be the case. Instead, it measured at 8 weeks 4 days. The heartbeat was nice and strong at 180 beats a minute. Yay!!!

After all that, and meeting with the doc, Chris and I went home with very happy hearts. I had wanted to wait for 2 more weeks to tell my folks so I could tell them in person. However, I could't hold back after the appointment. I wanted to tell the world. So, we shared the info with both our families that same day. Needless to say, everyone is happy and excited, but....still holding back a bit because there is still a chance of another loss.

Then Wednesday came, and when I went to the bathroom in the morning, I found brown spotting on the TP. I figured this was old blood, most likely from the pap and vaginal u/s. So, I wasn't worried. 2 hours later though, I found a couple of spots of pink on the TP and became concerned. So, I called the doc's office and spoke to the nurse. She and I determined it was probably nothing to worry about (I didn't have any more spotting other than those 2 spots), but she said I could come in again on Thursday for another u/s to make sure. How could I refuse for peace of mind?

We went in again and the baby was good! Nice strong heartbeat (170) and measuring right at 9 weeks. Awesomeness!

Below is a picture from the first u/s.