The 2 Week Wait (2ww)

Right now, I'm in the 2ww. What is that? Well, simply put. It is the 2 week time period between ovulation and a woman's period. Fun stuff, huh? I find it a bit annoying at times though.

When you are trying to conceive a baby, the 2ww can be torture. In my heart, I keep hoping I am pregnant, but I try not to think about the possibility and ignore everything else going on....particularly the "phantom symptoms". That can be difficult at times because I'll say I'm feeling a particular way and Chris will raise his eyebrows at me---like he suspects I may be pregnant as well. I find myself constantly denying I am although I am secretly hoping he is right.

The phantom symptoms are sometimes the worse. I call them phantom, but they aren't. I believe they are real symptoms. After a woman has her period, she gets an increase in progesterone. Progesterone is what causes a great deal of the symptoms. If a woman is pregnant, the hcG hormone (pregnancy hormone) signals an increase in progesterone leading to more or worse symptoms. Progesterone is what prevents the period from coming and signals the lining to stay in place.

During my 2nd pregnancy (ever brief that it was), we discovered I had low progesterone. My doctor prescribed progesterone suppositories (50 mg) to try and prevent miscarriage. It was too late and I lost the baby. (Honestly, though, I could have lost the baby because that was God's will as it was anyway). Now, starting at 10 dpo (days past ovulation), I have to put in the suppositories twice a day. Charting is very important for me to pinpoint the day I need to do this.

What this does to my body, I don't know. I do know that my symptoms sometimes increase after I start the suppositories. I always get more tired during the 2ww naturally, but when I'm pregnant and/or on the suppositories, I am downright exhausted in the afternoon and take lots of naps. Before my first pregnancy, my boobs never got sore during the 2ww. With my 1st pregnancy and my last, sore boobs were a huge symptom for me that I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I will now occasionally have sore boobs whether I am pregnant or not. My doctor said that was normal once you have been pregnant. Yay. ;-)

So, here I am in the 2ww, hoping and praying I am pregnant, again, but not counting on it. With that I feel all sorts of emotions. Part of me gets excited at the prospect, while the other part of me is scared I will suffer another loss. I can never approach a pregnancy with wide-eyed innocence that I did in the past. The naivety that everything will turn out okay in 9 months and I'll hold a baby in my arms, for sure. I want that back, but I can't have it back. While I am hopeful I'm pregnant again, I get myself mentally ready that I'm not and Chris & I will try again the next month.

We should know soon if I am or not. I'm highly doubtful this time around because while I've been a bit tired, I have no other symptoms. So, I'm ready for my cycle to restart and move on for more fun trying again. The life of a woman trying to conceive is grand, right? ;)