One of the things I try to do in my life is focus on the day-to-day. Doing this keeps my stress level down and keeps me focused on the present instead of looking at the "What Ifs" of the future. Whenever I find myself looking too far ahead, I remind myself to take a step back.
Since Ginny came into our life, I have done a pretty good job of staying focused on the present and day-to-day life we lead. However, there are moments when I look to the future.
The future can be a hopeful and wonderful place to imagine for Ginny. I hope many things most moms hope for their children. I dream that she does well in school, has lots of good friends that support her, doesn't have to deal much with bullies, stays out of trouble, and knows what she wants to be when she grows up (I still don't know what I want to be). And that is only the short list of hopes and dreams I have for my beautiful, sweet daughter.
What gets to me most are the fears I face with her. Last night I watched an episode of "Criminal Minds" that dealt with a character whose daughter was abducted 7 years before. All of a sudden I found myself worrying about Ginny being abducted. Suddenly I found myself a bit paranoid about all the bad things that could happen to my baby girl.
There are so many situations that can arise where Ginny may be hurt someday. I fear that for her. I don't want her to be hurt. As her mommy, I feel it is my duty to protect her as much as humanly possible. I fear so many things: bullies, drugs, alcohol-use (too young), car accidents, abduction, rape, murder. I can go on. The world can be very scary out there.
After going through all these fears in my head last night, I did my best to again refocus on the present. Ginny is a bright light in our life. I can only do so much, but I will do my best to love and protect her with God as my guide. I will do what I can to prepare her for the world. Now, though, I need to focus on the day-to-day and not worry so much about the future. The future is too hard to predict.
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